Skip To Content

    19 Funny Tweets For Everyone Who'd, Frankly, Just Rather Not

    "Hey, no thanks!" —The only response to anything.

    Look, sometimes there are days (or years) when you're just kind of OVER everyone and everything.

    Well, the following curation of tweets is here to make you giggle and also feel seen whenever you're just plain not in the mood. You're welcome and stay hydrated, friends:


    super quick question does anyone know what the point is


    life: here’s some lemons me: alright life: a bad hairline too me: wait- life: also anxiety lol me: why did u start with citrus


    I need a holiday or to be hit by a bus I honestly don’t care which


    Just tried to respond to someone with “all good” or “no worries” and instead what came out was “all worries,” which coincidentally is the best description of me at any given moment.


    Friend: u around this weekend Me: yep F: to help me move M: uh one sec *fake hold music* hey yeah, that was my doctor, bad news, I have died


    i like to do the irish hello which is where you don’t even show up to the party.


    I don't understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What's next, more things?? That's how they get you


    MUGGER: GIVE ME YOUR PURSE OR I'LL SHOOT YOU ME: *realize I won't have to pay student loans back if I'm dead* MUGGER: ??? ME: I'm thinking.


    y’all know the feeling of coming home and not having to speak to anyone? sensational.


    When my therapist asks how my anxiety level has been


    “i’m just being a bitch bc i’m about to get my period” - me 29 days before i’m about to get my period


    Very proud to announce that I am officially a lost cause! Thank you all for your continued support unfortunately it was all for nothing!



    me: hi do you take walk-ins the morgue: what


    every morning I ask the dog "the usual?" before pouring her food into her bowl & neither of us thinks it's funny but that's showbiz baby


    Me setting my alarm for every 5 minutes in the morning


    i can't believe i have to keep washing this stupid body until i die


    me at 8:42 on a monday


    how i sleep knowing i’m secretly hated by everyone i’ve ever spoken to because that’s what my brain told me

    And if you like what you see, be sure to click through and follow your favorites to make your Twitter timeline a more fun place!