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Sep 28, 2018

People Are Sharing Times Their Pets Were Total Jerks, And I'm Actually Crying

"Here's one of my dogs peeing on my other dog."

Look, no matter how much you love your pet, you can admit that sometimes they're an absolute butthead for no reason.

Pixar

Well, writer Talia Lavin recently asked people to share a specific time their beloved animal companion was a "jerk" and, holy heck, people did not disappoint.

Here are just a few of the absolute best responses:

1. This drive-through patron:

@chick_in_kiev The 2 times Ajax has snuck out the front door, he ran2 blocks & around the corner across 2 streets to the Local burger joint drive through window for an ice cream. Now we stop by on walks https://t.co/owoB3RMz8C

2. This curious pooper:

@chick_in_kiev This guy poops out whole q-tips at least once a week, and once he puked up a penny right in front of me. https://t.co/ncFlKzjZy9

3. This absolute stalker:

@chick_in_kiev i've encouraged this behavior because i find it amusing but my cat actively stalks me throughout my apartment and waits behind corners to ambush me. here's her waiting to ambush: https://t.co/SowpYxXY01

4. This sneaky babe:

@chick_in_kiev @cmclymer And this one opened a closed tupperware container, ate 3 scones, and closed it back

5. This trash-diver:

@chick_in_kiev This is Mr. Pugsley. One day he knocked over the trash can and ate the 2-day old remains of a smoked paprika roast chicken. We lived in terror of the cooked bones killing him until he turned the bathroom floor into a diarrheic Slough of Despond. He’s a good boy. https://t.co/oLgWyTQj8O

6. This water hog:

@chick_in_kiev One of my kittens puts his front paws IN the water dish whenever he drinks, be-furring the water for everybody else: https://t.co/fbRcfQmbdC

7. This key-flinger:

@chick_in_kiev My husband once left our cockatoo out, momentarily unattended. When he came back a few minutes later, every single key from my keyboard had been removed and flung across the room! https://t.co/QdhHrYChZ2

8. This excited head-butt:

@chick_in_kiev My Dog is a pit-greyhound mix. Thin body but his head is as hard as a rock. About a week after we adopted him, we were horsing around on the couch. The booger hit me in the face with the top if his head and broke my nose. https://t.co/RyKkInmC5s

9. This perfectly named badass:

10. This pee bully:

@chick_in_kiev Here's one of my dogs peeing on my other dog. It wasn't the first time either.

11. This homework ruiner:

@chick_in_kiev My cat sat on my Russian homework after playing in the shower (his favourite thing to do) Here he is ruining 2 hours work https://t.co/kEY6W3XVKu

12. This surprise attack:

@chick_in_kiev This is Gizmo! She likes to wait for me to walk past her and ambush me from above! Not so scary during the day but at 3am, that’s a different story! https://t.co/Sk0quBGT8z

13. This cheese fiend:

@chick_in_kiev Guinness stole an entire wedge of cheese off the counter!

14. This contaminator:

@chick_in_kiev Lulu likes to stick her paws into people’s drinks. Not drink it—just get her paws wet in your tea or juice or whatever, leaving telltale strands of fur behind for you to discover next time you take a sip. This is the one time I caught her in the act. https://t.co/LQNJDXuelV

15. This adorable rivalry:

@chick_in_kiev Dobby the cat waits for the dog to go out the cat flap, then sits in front of it so the dog (who is too polite to knock the cat in the face with hard plastic) can't get back in. https://t.co/8yimnwyiDU

16. This sassy snore hater:

@chick_in_kiev LRT: At least 3 overnight guests have complained that Poutine reacts to snoring by shoving open the door, hopping onto the bed, reaching her paw into their open mouth, and hitting their uvula/tongue until they wake up. https://t.co/UNp4ZLilcL

17. And finally, this simple mistake:

Has your pet ever done something mean, random, or just plain ridiculous? Share your tales (or should I say "tails") in the comments below!

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