This new full-length look at the film is AMAZING, and shows us a little more of each short story we can expect to see — including Harold the scarecrow, who looks juicy as ever:
The big toe-missing corpse who, despite missing a phalange, maintains exquisite balance:
The Pale Lady in all her pale and lady-like glory:
And the Jangly Man who, yeah, what the actual heck??? Sir, I'm not interested in whatever NIGHTMARES you're selling:
But the real thing this trailer highlights is our adorable main characters, and the fact that these kids have never seen a horror film in their lives because HOLY HECK there are certainly some CHOICES made here.
Like, why are you beating up this very creepy-looking scarecrow? Who hurt you? Why are you like this?
Why are you breaking into a boarded-up house? What's going on here? Go back to your homes.
STOP. READING. OUT. LOUD. FROM. A. RANDOM. BOOK. YOU. FOUND. HIDDEN. AWAY. IN. A. DEAD. PERSON'S. HOME.
Why are you just SITTING IN A PILE OF YOUR FACE SPIDERS?! OH MY GOD, RUN AWAY, PLEASE.
This movie could honestly be retitled A Sequence Of Wrong Decisions Made By Children: Where Are Your Parents? and I'd be like yeah, that checks out.
So yeah, there you have it! Be sure to catch Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark when it finally hits theaters August 9, 2019 so that I don't have to scream at the screen alone.
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