1.Horror movies are great, but you know what else is great? A good night's sleep.
2.Still, there's something about them (the adrenaline rush, the suspense, the...men in masks) that keeps pulling you back in.
3.Even though you can't lie to yourself, you're a giant chicken.
4.First off, you never go to see horror movies while they're in actual theaters because...it's dark in there?
5.Which means you have to watch them in your own home, where you SLEEP.
6.Before you even put the movie on, you're already questioning your life choices.
7.Still, you know that that sweet horror-high is worth all the pre-game fear.
8.Anyway, the movie begins and it always starts off perfectly fine, so you try and play it off like it'll be funny.
9.But then a character makes some kind of stupid-ass decision, and you're just like, "Why are you like this?"
10.It doesn't matter how many times you've seen it, you're still gonna watch most of it through your fingers.
11.And you fully yell at the screen throughout because WHY ARE YOU RUNNING UP THE STAIRS WHEN THE FRONT DOOR IS THREE FEET IN FRONT OF YOU???
12.You're only comforted by the solace of your cell phone, which you casually look at from time to time to remind yourself puppies still exist.
13.That is, until your cell phone rings unexpectedly mid-movie, terrifies you, and is now ALSO the enemy.
14.As the movie reaches the climax, you find your reactions to events becoming a lot more polite.
15.Or radically ruder.
16.And, when you finally convince yourself to go to bed afterwards, you turn all of the lights on.
17.But you STILL can't sleep, because all you can think about is the imagery you just forced your brain to process.
18.Still, you know that the next chance you get, you'll watch another horror movie over any other genre, and repeat this ridiculous cycle all over again.
