Skip To Content
    Updated on Dec 23, 2019. Posted on Dec 21, 2019

    People Shared Times Their Pets Were "Dumb Jerks," And I'll Let You Know If I Ever Stop Laughing

    "My bird LOVES ceiling fans..."

    A while back, we took a look at a viral Twitter thread that asked users to reveal a time that their beloved pet was, unfortunately, a "dumb jerk." These hilarious tales sparked even MORE responses from our very own BuzzFeed Community! Here are just a few of the fluffiest jerks out there:

    Walt Disney Studios

    1. This pin dropper:

    "I have a 17-year-old cat who finds my (hidden) pincushions and pulls out the individual glass-head silk pins. She then takes them to the edge and drops each one off the table, onto the floor. ONE. BY. ONE. I eventually bought an industrial magnet to store them on, so now she takes great pride in PUSHING THE MAGNET OFF COUNTERS and watching the pins bounce back onto the magnet."

    vlbeharry

    2. This path choice:

    "I was eating breakfast the other day and something scared my kitten, so he ran across me. HOWEVER, instead of going around me, he ran right across the plate of freshly made pancakes that I was holding."

    aimn

    3. This purrfect seat:

    buzzfeed.com

    "My cat, Twinkle, loves to sit directly on her sister, Piper, while eating her dinner."

    jennies4783ed5b8

    4. This jump scare:

    "My cat is such an ass. His favorite activity is swiping at people's legs while they go down the stairs. He's sent my husband to the ER before."

    beccalina

    5. This cruel pillow:

    "My dog lets EVERYONE EXCEPT ME use her as a pillow. She will physically use her little feet to push my head off her. I think she’s trying to tell me I have a big head."

    amyp4c7d69e9f

    6. This egg carrier:

    buzzfeed.com

    "My dog LOVES to steal our chicken eggs....Eh, at least she's very gentle with them, though."

    shanac463f931e7

    7. This buttered biscuit:

    "My dog once ate a quarter-pound of butter AND the wrapper. He stole it off the table and — when I tried to take the wrapper so that he wouldn’t, you know, kill himself by getting it stuck in his intestines — he tried to bite me. He’s such a determined little asshole. I love him."

    goldenfaeries

    8. This snore hater:

    "Our cat, Simba, was sleeping with my mom and my mom was apparently snoring louder than normal. Well, he didn’t like that, so he took his paws and put them up against her nostrils to BLOCK THE AIR."

    tracy110302

    9. This prank, bro:

    10. This hello from the hospital:

    "My dog got so excited to see me one time that, on my way up the stairs to see her, she head-butted me full-force. She bruised my nose, gave me a serious black eye, and broke my glasses."

    taylorh4edf628b1

    11. This birthday surprise:

    "My mom had a really fancy cake made for my great-grandfather’s 95th birthday. About an hour after picking it up, she came downstairs to find that our cat, Molly, chewed through the box. She had somehow managed to eat the entire center of the cake."

    emilyanneh4aefbdaa6

    12. This creepy creeper:

    buzzfeed.com

    "Here's my cat doing his favorite activity: Looking down on me while I pee. I can't just fill the shelf with stuff, because he jumps up anyway and pushes everything onto the floor. I did not foresee this problem when purchasing an over-the-toilet shelving unit, but here we are."

    dream82mp

    13. This light eater:

    "My rabbit bites into the potatoes we give him, but he doesn't eat them. He just leaves one single bite mark on EVERY potato and then hops away."

    danny99

    14. This angry bird:

    "My bird LOVES ceiling fans, but they have to be on at all times and he has to be able to see them moving. Once during a blackout, the fan stopped and he SCREAMED for two hours straight."

    annk491072b86

    15. This goofy boy:

    buzzfeed.com

    "The other day my boy, Biscuit, PRETENDED to pee when I let him out. He then came back into the house and immediately peed on our bedroom floor. What kind of jerk fakes going to the bathroom?!"

    maryn468e860f7

    16. This excellent training:

    "My Shiba Inu, Tucker, will whine and stare longingly out the balcony door like he wants to go outside. However, as soon as I get off the couch to appease him, he steals my seat and refuses to move. Every. Single. Time."

    dj2028

    17. This sneak attack:

    "Our little dog, Tobi, is attached to my side 24/7. Sometimes at night, when he is cuddling me under the covers, our cat, Hinabi, will sneak from the end of the bed and pounce on him from above the blankets. He has no idea she’s coming every time, and gets so mad. It’s hilarious."

    marylouises

    18. And finally, this ultimate revenge:

    "I have two dogs. A German Shepherd and Schnauzer/Cocker Spaniel mix. The German Shepherd is always trying to dominate playtime. So this one time, my Schnauzer had enough and took the ball, ran with it, then peed on it. And I mean...A LOT of pee. It was like he was planning this and saving up two days worth of pee! He then ran away very satisfied."

    sgastelum

    Alright, you've had your laughs...but now it's YOUR turn! Tell us about a time when your beloved fur baby was a big, dumb jerk. Can you top these stories? Share in the comments below!

    Walt Disney Studios