LOOK, WE'VE ALL TOLD A WHITE LIE TO A CHILD, DON'T COME FOR ME. Sometimes these lies are to protect them and, other times, they're just for funsies.
Well this week when Reddit user omfghewontfkndie asked, "What small lies like 'Brown cows produce chocolate milk' or 'Hedgehogs grow on chestnut trees' can you tell young children?" the responses were equal parts genius AND pure.
Here are just a FEW of the absolute best ~white lies~:
1."I read on here that one user told their kids they make a 'beep' noise when they're asleep, so that they could tell when they were fake sleeping. I told my kids the same little lie and I learned that these little shits fake sleeping all the time."
3."My sister tells my nephew that the [insert an item] needs to 'charge' to get him to stop playing with it. For example, he likes when they turn on the overhead light in the car, so when they turn it off and he BEGS them to turn it back on, they tell him they can’t because it needs to charge. He just nods and says, 'Oh okay.'"
4."I was able to nip the whiny 'I want [insert item]!' at the grocery store. When they wanted something, I would check the shopping list and sadly say 'Sorry, we can’t get it. It’s not on the list!' They quickly believed the list was the final word. Of course, if they had been behaving and it was a reasonable request, it was easy to say 'Yep! There it is!'"
5."My uncle used to live on Twin Peaks in San Francisco. He'd always pick up the phone and call the 'fog department' late in the afternoon to order some 'evening fog.' He worked for the city, so as kids we believed him."
6."When my boys were both little, they were so adorable that I kissed them constantly. I told them that, on their 18th birthday, all the mommy kisses I’d given them would magically glow in the dark, and that it was part of an ongoing contest at school where whoever had the most kisses was the winner. Please note that mommy kisses couldn’t be wiped off because they were magic."
11."I told my three-year-old son that Dr. Pepper is only for doctors (I'm a vet and I drink it all the time). Problem is that now he goes around the playground scolding other kids for drinking it because they're 'not doctors.'"
14."When my daughter was little, we were walking on a trail, and she kept running ahead. To get her to stop, I told her that there were deer in the area and, if one caught her, it would 'steal her face.' Low and behold, around the next bend, there was a deer standing there. She absolutely lost her mind."
16."I would always want to call and buy whatever dumb stuff was being hocked on Nickelodeon. These phone numbers always were in the form of 1-888-BUY-STUFF, so I asked my dad how to dial letters on our home phone. My dad told me our phone 'didn’t support dialing letters,' so we couldn’t call."
So, there ya have it! Have you told YOUR kids a funny/silly/genius white lie? Or maybe you remember YOUR parents telling you a little lie you totally believed? Please share yours in the comments below!