32 Tweets That Are Only Funny Because They're True

    After all, we all put our masks on one ear at a time.

    Listen — it's been a rough, lonely year. It's been so long since most of us hung out with other humans, it's easy to forget what it's like being around them.

    BUT — even though we're all separated and haven't had human contact in a long-ass time — it's important to remember that we all still have a lot of very weird, very stupid stuff in common.

    So, with that in mind, we took to Twitter to collect the most random, most specific, most weirdly relatable tweets we could find and compiled them into this easy-to-enjoy list for your viewing pleasure to remind you that we're all just a bunch of lil' brains floating around in our respective heated meat sacks — am I right? No? Anyway, here we go:

    1. This forgetful moment:

    Does anyone else ever pull their phone out to check the time but then have to do it again cuz they forgot to actually look at the clock or am I just stupid

    Twitter: @sarahmaloneyxx

    2. This actual attack:

    Twitter: @ChefJags

    3. This rude awakening:

    me: i cannot believe i have to deal with this shit friend: what? me: the consequences of my own actions

    4. This simple request:

    The waiter: anything else I could get you? Me: Can I get a lil to go box

    Twitter: @itsbriancuh

    5. This therapy sesh:

    Therapist: you don’t love yourself Me: so true king. Here’s $80

    Twitter: @livstadler

    6. This "that's why" response:

    “why don’t you have your camera on?” me:

    Twitter: @oocsopranos

    7. This lyric update:

    coming out of my cage and i am so stressed out. let me back in the cage

    Twitter: @zachsilberberg

    8. This sloppy truth:

    i love contactless delivery they just throw the slop at your door and i run out like a little pig

    Twitter: @acechhh

    9. This patient waiting:

    My face when they point the temperature gun at me to take my temperature.

    Twitter: @staarrgirlll

    10. This meow meow:

    i wish i was a cat , no school no works just meow meow

    Twitter: @ry4nsuk

    11. This accurate depiction:

    me explaining a song I heard years ago only knowing the melody google

    Twitter: @ElizabethZaks

    12. This box appreciation:

    One thing no one ever talks about being an adult is how much time you debate yourself on keeping a cardboard box because it's, like, a really good box.

    Twitter: @madameanthro

    13. This dark test:

    me when i was 10 pretending i was dead in the pool to see if anyone would care

    Twitter: @cumrascal

    14. This airport pose:

    me going through the TSA body scanner

    Twitter: @peeanofreek

    15. This design flaw:

    Twitter: @SoopremeJeri

    16. This outright refusal:

    CDC: Wear a mask! Social Distance! Get the vaccine! Me: absolutely! CDC: don’t eat raw cookie dough Me: I’ll see you in hell

    Twitter: @daphnethewriter

    17. This pure failure:


    18. This incomparable high:

    Twitter: @AbdulRajput_

    19. This "you either need water or you're dead" analysis:

    Me: i have a headache WebMD: and it’ll be your last

    Twitter: @YRN_Jay15

    20. This ARChived pic:

    Twitter: @firagawalkwthme

    21. This iconic movie quote:

    does ur brain ever just go: “donkäe”

    Twitter: @woopsiedacey

    22. This nighttime activity:

    Does anyone else make up fake scenarios every night when they’re trying to sleep or do I need therapy

    Twitter: @alicebrigs

    23. This COVID mash-up:

    Twitter: @Mariaa_bol

    24. This reupped annoyance:

    Does anyone else get re-annoyed? Like yeah I know it happened ages ago but it's annoying me

    Twitter: @danielleoharaaa

    25. This way to keep yourself humble:

    If you ever wanna be humbled, ask your brother how you look

    Twitter: @syrianting

    26. This rightful distrust:

    my trust issues so bad I don’t even trust these:

    Twitter: @itsmeyeseniaa

    27. This lost time:

    Every day around midnight, I'm shocked to find out it's only 6pm.

    Twitter: @koolgalkay

    28. This adult $20:

    You become an adult when $1k feels like $20

    Twitter: @keariay_

    29. This alarm clock concert:

    my 7:30am, 7:35am, 7:40am, 7:45am and 7:50am alarms all going off to wake me up

    Twitter: @mascfeme

    30. This relatable motive:

    I asked my students today what keeps them motivated. One of them said "spite."

    31. This "excuse":

    Them: Hey are you still coming? Me: My bad, I can’t something came up. Also me at home knowing damn well nothing came up:

    Twitter: @kashtalkk

    32. And finally — this summation of all of our lives:

    am I working at my regular capacity? no. but am I prioritizing and taking care of the most important tasks? no. but am I at least taking care of myself and my mental health? also no.

    Twitter: @etengastro

    Be sure to click through and follow your favorite creators on Twitter to make your timeline a more fun place to be!