Hello! How are you? Are you having a good day? Well, I'm here to make you aware of this absolutely terrifying-looking horror movie! You're welcome!
Writer-director Ari Aster — i.e., the man who made ~heads roll~ with last year's surprise scary smash Hereditary — has gifted us with the first trailer-length look at his latest brightly lit nightmare, Midsommar:
The film follows Dani (Florence Pugh) and Christian (Jack Reynor), an all-American couple on the verge of what looks like a pretty nasty breakup.
However, before Christian gets the chance to end things, Dani experiences a family tragedy, delaying their breakup and causing Dani to invite herself along with Christian and his buds on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to a festival in Sweden.
But remember, this is a horror movie, so when I say "festival," what I actually mean is "a nightmare." A festival of human nightmares.
The film itself looks GORGEOUS — from the sun-soaked landscape to the bright pastel wardrobes to the rich red BLOOD BECAUSE THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE, TRICKED YA INTO FEELING COMFORTABLE FOR A SECOND.
Anyway, this trailer truly highlights absolutely every reason why I will never go to a "festival" of any kind. No thank you, but it was so nice of you to ask. I'll be at home, asleep.
I'm not going to a music festival. I'm not going to a wine and food festival. I'm not going to a festival of the arts. I'm not even going to the Festival of the Lion King show at Walt Disney World's Animal Kingdom. Never again.
Also unrelated but related: HOW DARE YOU PUT CHIDI* IN DANGER. HE HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH.
So yeah, there ya have it. If Midsommar is absolutely anywhere near as weird and wild as Hereditary was, I'm sure we're all in for a treat(?). Anyway, be sure to catch it in theaters July 3 — that is, if you're brave enough.