13 Funny-As-Heck Stories About Haunted House Fails That Are Worth The Price Of Admission
Moral of the story: The scare actors are not paid enough.
1. This hilarious mistake:
"My sister and I went to a haunted house together. We decided that I would lead the way through the house. It was incredibly dark, and my low-light vision is not great. Cut to me circling us around the SAME ROOM three times because I couldn't find the entrance to the next room! Eventually the staff took pity on us, and someone used a spooky ghost voice over the speaker system to say, 'Ooooooh, there are staaaaaairs to your lefffffftttttttt!' My sister and I were laughing at ourselves just as much as I'm sure the staff was."
2. This crushed crush:
"I had a huge crush on one of my cousin's friends, and one year he came with us to the Headless Horseman Hayride. Fifth house in, and this guy with a chainsaw got me GOOD. No, I mean...I actually PEED myself. For some reason I ran out of the house yelling, “I peed!” thinking my mother would be out there to laugh with me, since she had gone into the house ahead of me. Instead, the only person outside happened to be my crush. YIKES."
3. This flying baby doll:
"I'll start this story by saying that my brother and I both have weird senses of humor to begin with when it comes to spooky stuff...so when we started hearing a baby crying in one haunted house we went to, we'd already started to crack up. Apparently, in that particular room, a fake baby was supposed to swing down on a noose to scare you, but instead the baby doll accidentally got detached from the rope and FLEW across the room. We both laughed so hard, they ended up actually kicking us out."
4. This petrified pusher:
"When my friend and I went to the Amsterdam Dungeon, he got so scared that he physically pushed me ON TOP of one of the actors, knocking us both down, before he ran out of the room."
5. This scaredy-dad:
"Last weekend I went to a haunted house, just me and my dad. I typically grab onto someone’s arm for moral support during these things, so I was glad he was there, but I never knew how much of a chicken my dad was until that night. He literally pushed me in front of EVERYTHING, including a chainsaw. I left him in the dust after that."
6. This ripped shirt:
"My friend was holding my hand while we were walking through a haunted maze. Problem was, at one point he got so scared that he took off running and his watch got caught on the sleeve of my shirt. He ripped off part of my shirt to the point where it was just sadly hanging off my shoulder."
7. This protective sister:
"My sister and I went to the House of Torment in Austin when I was 16. We were getting super scared, as per usual for these haunted houses, but at a point I just couldn't take it anymore and literally dropped to the ground because I was SO scared.
"My sister proceed to pick me up and practically drag me through the rest of the house while making the ANGRIEST FACE I've ever seen. She was in protection mode, but what was funny was that after she started making that face, literally NO ONE was popping out to scare us. I actually saw one guy about to jump out at us, but he saw her face and retreated. She literally scared the people that were supposed to scare us."
8. This flying fear:
"The first time I was ever in a professional haunted corn maze, I was 12. I was there with my mom, dad, brother, and a couple of our friends. About one minute into the maze, a zombie clown with a chainsaw jumped out of the corn, full-on running at me and my mom.
"I screamed, turned around, and made a jump into my mother’s arms that would have impressed Scooby and Shaggy. She had a broken ankle at the time (she was even in a walking boot). Needless to say, we both went down HARD. Just imagine it: a 5-foot-tall, 100-pound little girl FLYING into her mommy's arms."
9. This helpful girl:
"I was in the sixth grade, and my older sister and her friend wanted to take me to a local haunted house, knowing that I would be terrified. I wanted to seem cool, so I stupidly went. We got as far as the second room before I saw a woman lying down, chained up with blood all over her, yelling, 'Help, please! Help me!”
"I got so freaked out that I started yelling to everyone that this woman seriously needed our help. It got to the point where this lady (who was obviously acting) busted out laughing, breaking character. She told me that she was OK but I needed to move along so that I didn’t mess up the experience for other people. I am now 29 years old and STILL feel the embarrassment from that night."
10. This turn of events:
"An organization I was part of in college decided to do an outing to a local haunted maze. When we got there and told them we had a big group (probably 15–20 of us), they literally asked us if we would be willing to work the maze that night because they were understaffed and had a huge wait time. They dressed us up and sent us into the maze, with no training whatsoever. It was awesome."
11. This screaming:
"I went to Six Flags and got so scared in one of the mazes that I wouldn’t stop screaming. That is, until a scare actor screamed, 'Shut up! I can’t take anymore!' right at me, then proceeded to leave the maze after he ripped off his mask. My screaming literally made a man quit his job."
12. This Disney magic (?):
"So, this one kind of counts even though it's a ride: The first time I rode the Haunted Mansion at Walt Disney World, I was 4 years old. The ghosts didn’t scare me at all...but the moving walkway to get into the Doom Buggies terrified me. I wouldn’t even step onto it. My mom had to pick me up and plop me down, fully shaking, onto the seat. The Disney cast members were super accommodating, and they helped calm me down, but it's pretty hilarious that, out of all the things to be scared of on that ride, it was the moving walkway that took me down."
13. And finally, this not-so-friendly clown greeting:
"There was a terrifying clown at the entrance of a haunted house I went to who was collecting the tickets to get in, and he held his hand for my ticket, but I gave him a handshake instead because I was too scared to pay attention."