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    18 Brutal But G-Rated Insults You Should Begin Using Immediately

    "It is impossible to underestimate you."

    There are few things on this Earth that are more satisfying than witnessing a simple, clever, and well-deserved insult.


    And this week when Reddit user midskycollision asked, "What is the harshest G-Rated insult you have received?" it proved that, sometimes, the most memorable comebacks are actually child-friendly.

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    Here are some of the most BRUTAL insults shared:

    1. "I was once told I was 'more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.'"


    2. "While it was NOT said to me, I still died when I heard a kid say, 'You look like you came from a donation pile.'"


    3. "My 7-year-old sister had kissed a boy at school and I was joking about it. She then proceeded to write me a note next to a drawing of me that said: 'I kissed a boy, but you are 26 and still don't have a boyfriend. That's a funnier joke.'"


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    4. "Someone called me a 'crunchy lizard' once, in reference to my hair gel. I asked why that was a bad thing and she said, 'A crunchy lizard is not a happy lizard.'"


    5. "'I wish you were a speed bump for my tricycle,' said by my sister when we were 4 or 5 years old."


    6. "If Mr. Rogers was your neighbor, he'd move."



    7. "I heard a kid tell one of his classmates that they 'smell like hot dog water.'"


    8. "I was pestering my then-girlfriend/now-wife and she turned to me and said, 'You need to go home and think about everything you are...then change it.' My jaw dropped and she immediately started apologizing. She had meant for it to be kind of snotty, but realized how harsh it had come out and felt bad."


    9. "It is impossible to underestimate you."


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    10. "This exchange happened accidentally between me and my boyfriend the other day and it's been legendary for us ever since: After making an honest mistake he said, 'Sorry I'm an idiot.' And I, wanting to reassure him but failing miserably, replied, 'Don't be sorry for who you are!'"


    11. "My younger sister once said to me while I was trying to take a selfie: 'Retake the picture so I can be in it. It’ll look a lot better.'"


    12. "I was playing a drinking game that involved the rules being made on the fly as we went along. We had a 'no swearing' rule, and THEN an 'insult' rule, which automatically made it G-rated. My friend was up and I was the one receiving the insult when, without hesitation, she said, 'Your teeth aren't as white as they could be!' I was flabbergasted."



    13. "You will have a sparsely attended funeral."


    14. "I accidentally cut someone off the other day and, instead of flipping me off, the guy gave me a big thumbs down out the window and, for some reason, that hit harder."


    15. "A toddler once told my sister 'I like your mustache' while gently poking her upper lip."



    16. "You're like a lighthouse in the middle of a desert: bright, but not a lot of use."


    17. "I was once called 'a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.' It was harsh."


    18. "My child once said, 'Daddy, you are boring, and you have stinky feet.' I swear, I want that on my tombstone."


    Now it's your turn! Can you top these? What's the absolute harshest G-rated insult you've ever heard? Share your story in the comments below!

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    Some thread entries have been edited for length or clarity. H/T Reddit.