No matter how ~cool~ we've all grown up to be, we all have that ONE embarrassing story our parents hold on to and tell every chance they get. You know the one — the one that keeps you humble.
And this week when Reddit user unsanemaker asked, "What is something you did long ago that your parents still bring up today?"...whew, buddy, did people DELIVER the tales of terror.
Here are just a handful of the most embarrassing stories parents will just NOT let go of:
1. This missing birthday:
"When I was turning five my mom joked that she was 'taking away' my birthday because I was growing up too fast. I freaked out because I was a kid and I loved my birthday. Now I’m 27 and every single year on my birthday she says I’m a year younger than I am because she 'took away my birthday that one time.'"
2. This swashbuckler:
"I dated an...interesting...guy in high school. He was REALLY into swords. So now every new guy I meet and bring home, the first thing my family asks is 'okay, but how many SWORDS does he have?' They find it pretty darn funny."
3. This muffin man:
"When my brother was little he was really into WWE. He wanted to be a wrestler, so he started calling himself 'the muscle man,' but he couldn't pronounce 'muscle' so it came out 'muffin.' We still call him 'the muffin man' whenever we see him and he's 27 now."
4. This incredible artist:
"I'm not particularly artistic and that's never been a part of my identity. Regardless, I could draw competently as a kid and I once brought home a cabin I drew in art class. It was...alright-ish? But my mom was just FLABBERGASTED by how good it was. She's told literally every girlfriend I've brought home, and every new group of friends I've made. I'm now 44 years old now, and she is STILL going on about it."
5. This avoidable injury:
"I once accidentally threw a dart INTO my brothers bare foot because I convinced myself (and him) I was good enough at darts to throw it exactly between his toes. Never going to live that one down."
6. This raisin enthusiast:
"Whenever my parents talk to other parents about shenanigans their young children pulled, my dad brings up the time he came home from work to see 3-year-old me up on the kitchen counter with an entire package of cinnamon raisin bagels having been split in half and de-raisined. When he asked me what I was doing, I very proudly exclaimed, 'I'm eating raisins!'"
7. This floral arrangement:
"I was the flower girl at a wedding. All they told me was to 'sprinkle the petals on the aisle' as I walked. Being a fastidious kid, I made a nice, neat row of petals down one side of the aisle. Mom loves to bring that up, and there's even a picture of my perfect row of petals."
8. This not-so-sneaky teen:
"Not me, but my brother: As a teenager he was constantly sneaking up on people. I guess he thought he was working on his recon skills, but when my dad would have his pals over drinking around a fire, my brother would try to sneak up on them by belly-crawling in the grass. They ALWAYS saw him."
9. This rocker:
"I stuck rocks up my nose and in my ears when I was 3...but the thing is, I kept doing it. I don't know why. I had to go to the hospital like three times to get them all removed. My dad still mentions it. He mentioned it at my WEDDING RECEPTION. What do you want from me, I was 3!"
10. This stuck head:
"When I was 4, I was playing by the stair's bannister. I told my older brother to watch me put my head in-between the banister, and that I'd be able to pull it back out, no problem. I got stuck. They won't let me forget that one."
11. This dairy king:
"When I was five my dad took me to Dairy Queen. It was August and, as I sat in the back seat enjoying my Dilly Bar, it was melting faster than I could eat it. We were at a light when my dad noticed the mess I was making on his beloved thunderbird's seats. He reached back and held out his hand, saying 'give me that!' So, I did. I plopped it in his hand, splattering melted ice cream all over him and his car. He'll never let it go."
12. This switcheroo:
"Not me, but my husband: Neither I, nor his family, will let him forget that when he was like 10 years old he would try to trade dimes for any quarters people had, telling them that the dimes were 'baby quarters' and that they'd 'grow up' to be normal-sized quarters."
13. This ONE bad example:
"I got a bad grade in high school for not turning in an assignment on time. That was over 10 years ago and my parents STILL use that ONE TIME to question my work ethic."
14. This unfair grudge:
"My Jewish mother still reminds me daily about how she was in labor with me for 10 hours. The thing is she always tells the story like it was my fault and that I had some control over it. She'll say, 'You don't remember, but it's the truth!' Of course I don't remember, Ma!"
15. This shocking kiss:
"When I was 3, I liked a character on TV so much that I kissed the TV and got a static shock that sent me falling over backwards. It must have been pretty funny for them, since they STILL bring it up 16 years later."
16. This correct answer:
"When I was little my parents asked me 'if there was a flood and you could only save two people, who would it be?' I answered 'my dogs' and they're still salty about it."
17. And finally, this hit and stay:
"You let yourself out of a moving vehicle and get run over by your mom's car ONE TIME and you never hear the end of it!"