Hi so I wasn't planning on being emotionally attacked this week, but apparently Walt Disney Studios HAD OTHER PLANS. I am, of course, referring to their release of the first full-length trailer for the live-action Dumbo reboot.
Seriously, I'm going to hire a lawyer because I think the heartbreak I ensued from watching this counts as assault. See for yourself, but be warned:
This movie literally has everything I never knew I needed. Danny Devito as a wacky circus ringleader? Check!
Michael Keaton as an evil business man with a The Fifth Element-esque hairdo? DOUBLE CHECK!
Colin Farrell's incredibly attractive face, body, and spirit as the good guy? TRIPLE CHECK!
And last but by no means least, a CGI baby elephant I would already die for. WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST LOOK AT THIS PRECIOUS BABY ANGEL:
Needless to say, I was not emotionally prepared to see this baby angel be bullied on-screen SO quickly. CALL ME DRAKE, BECAUSE I'M UPSET.
And I'm not the only one who feels this way. As expected, fans completely lost their darn minds at the sight of our collective childhoods coming to life.
For real, if you don't at least get A LITTLE emotional, you're made of stone.
In conclusion, 2019 is going to be a LIT year for my aggressively excited inner child.
So yeah, Dumbo owns my soul, Walt Disney Studios owes me money for therapy, and I can't wait until March 2019. In the meantime, catch this fully-grown, adult woman calling her mommy to tell her she loves her like: