So with that in mind, here are just a few of the silliest, strangest, most wholesome things shared:
1."If my wife and I are holding hands and we somehow end up in a handshake position, we shake vigorously and say hyperbolic business jargon like, 'Good business deal, business partner!' or 'Production is hitting our KPIs this quarter!' We've done it for years, and we do actually own a business together now (but we still do this)."
3."Whenever either of us takes off our ring for any reason (showering, washing dishes, gardening, etc.), the other will grab it and put it back on them while 'proposing.' We have easily proposed to each other several thousand times by now."
4."My wife likes to pants me (pull down my pants from behind) when I'm doing things where both my hands are occupied, like cooking or carrying things. I put up with it because she gets a really great belly laugh every time she is successful, and I love it when she laughs like that."
7."We do goofy voices in public. It’s made worse by the fact that I’m 60 and she’s 50. We'll be in the grocery aisle and one of us will see something cool — BOOM! We use whatever fake-ass, exaggerated, semi-aristocratic accent we can contrive and say things like, 'Ooooh! So verah fanceh!' Then the other will chime in with, 'So verah fanceh! What does it do?' And off we go. We're insufferable, really."
8."I used to mess up writing the name of the month on our dry-erase calendar, but it has turned into us doing it wrong on purpose to see who notices it first. For example, right now it is apparently 'Septemble.'"
10."Before we had a kid, we used to strip to avoid running out for anything. It started with, 'You run out, I don't have any shoes on!' Then one day, I mentioned we were out of milk, and neither of us had shoes on. My husband immediately dropped his pants around his ankles and declared, 'I don't have pants on, either!' After that, every time one of us would say, 'Oh, we're all out of [blank],' we would exchange a quick glance and immediately start stripping to see who could be the furthest from 'ready to leave the house.' Good times."
11."About 25 years ago, I left a silly, random message on our answering machine for my wife (I used to put a lot of things for sale in the 'Buy & Sell' ad paper). The message went like this: 'I’m calling about the froggy. That I’ve touched. I touched the frog! Don’t tell anyone!' To this day, if anyone mentions a frog, we look at each other and quietly say, 'The froggy that I’ve touched…?' It’s so stupid, but it makes us laugh."
12."We have a little paper cutout of Bobby Hill that we hide in random locations for the other to find days or weeks later. It's currently in a stack of toilet paper at her place waiting to be found again."
14."When we can’t find each other in a store, we 'Bloop,' and the other person replies with a long 'Blooooop!' until we locate each other. When people are around, we do this pretty quietly, which maybe makes it more creepy for the passerby."
16."My wife and I have an unspoken thing we've done for 10-plus years where we sneak up behind each other, grab the other person's butt, and — if the person whose butt is grabbed tenses up — the grabber whispers, 'Fear.' If their butt's grabbed without them tensing up, then it's usually, 'OH?! NO FEAR FOR YOU?!' I have no idea where this came from or how it started, but it's a joke that's endured almost as long as our marriage, and made for some funny moments over the years."
17."We'll 'cape' each other. For example, I'll be doing the dishes, and my fiancé will come up and hug me from behind all cute-like. Then, if I have to walk, she'll shuffle her feet really quickly to match me, and I'll have to move around cleaning the kitchen with this quick-stepping weirdo on me like a cape."
18."We settle disputes by playing 'sock head.' We stand about 3 meters apart and take it in turns, trying to throw a sock at each other in hopes of landing one squarely on the other person's head. I’m currently the reigning champion (yes, I am — fuck you, Jade)!"
19."We make up lore for our cat. One of us will say something stupid and random like, 'He's a stone-cold businessman!' and the other will build on that, and we'll keep escalating it until one of us dies of laughter. As of now, that cat is a chicken sauce businessman, a celebrated figure in Japan, and a renowned soccer player complete with a fleshed-out backstory."
20."Entire concepts have been replaced with nonsense, bastardized words. For example, a bath is exclusively known as a 'splosh' (e.g., 'I'm going to go and have a splosh!'). Last weekend, we were camping with friends and I helped cook breakfast, but I caught myself asking people if they wanted any more 'sosig.'"
21.And finally: "We play hide-and-seek. He’ll randomly disappear, and I’ll find him hiding in my closet or in the bathtub or waiting to jump out and scare me. Once, he tried hiding under the bed, but he fell asleep and I only found him because of his snore."