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17 Stages Of Trying To Cut Pizza Out Of Your Diet

The struggle is ALL TOO REAL.

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1. So, you have a self-proclaimed cheese addiction.

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2. As such, you realize pizza is the actual embodiment of perfection in an otherwise imperfect world.

3. Some of your "friends" claim you "have a problem."

4. To avoid obesity, you decide to cut out pizza from your diet.

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5. Your new meals consist of a lot of...lettuce.


I am this dog. I'm eating, but I want you to know I'm not happy about it.

6. Your friends try to suggest "healthy" versions of pizza to ease the pain. This only creates more animosity.


7. ...because a cauliflower crust is NOT a pizza crust.

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8. You begin to resent what used to be your favorite holiday: Office Pizza Party Day.

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9. Because you know that even one bite will result in a relapse.

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10. You start to get irrationally angry whenever you see pizza left uneaten.

Because it is a sin.

Because it is a sin.

11. Everyone's face suddenly begins to morph into the thing you crave most.

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12. You find yourself waking up from a "cheese sweat" nearly every night.

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13. On your cheat day, you hit a low point and eat pizza for lunch and dinner.

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...and also after the bar.

14. One day, you come home to an intervention. Your friends and family can see you've been suffering.

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15. You decide to give up, finally coming to terms with the fact that true love cannot be denied.

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16. You may even get quiz results confirming what you know in your heart to be true.*

*based on actual events.

*based on actual events.

17. You then live out the rest of your days in bliss, with the perfect slice of heaven.

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Live long and prosper, my friends.

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