10 Stages Of Summer

Summer is a torturous cycle full of excitement, laziness, sweat, regret, and sadness. While I love sunshine as much as the next person, I did not ask to drown in humidity and for my thighs to stick to my seat.

1. School's Out

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This is the only time during the school year you grow a pair and have no chill. You're literally staring your teachers in their eyes as you rip up the graded assignments they just gave back to you. "See you bitches later!"

2. Summer Expectations

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I see you have a lot of free time on your hands. Maybe, you'll hit up the gym, work on your tan, or get a job. "I'm going to go the beach every single day!"

3. Summer Reality

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LOL, yeah, okay. "Oh, it's 6:00 am. This seems like a great time to go to sleep." It's cute that you thought you'd be productive this summer, but let's be realistic for a second. We all know you aren't going to wake up past 1:00 pm.

4. Saying Goodbye to the "Summer Body"

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"I totally have abs...they're shy. There's just a layer of fat over them." 6 packs are so overrated. In the words of Donna Meagle and Tom Haverford, "Treat yo' self."

5. Making Summer Plans Like...

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Most of your friends are going to give you the "Yeah, let's hang out this summer" response and then you'll never see them again until September. But, the 4 friends that do want to see you, well......yeaahhhh, that might be a problem. Free crib, anyone? "Do they have a dollar menu?"

6. Wishing You Had a Job

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"Mom, I just want to enjoy my vacation! I've been working all year at school, damn." Don't you feel dumb now? It's a sad feeling when you open up your wallet and hope that money magically appears. Maybe next year.

7. When You Finally Walk Outside

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"I did not ask for this." Seriously, if I can't make it down my block without huffing, puffing, and looking like I just came out of a swimming pool with all of my clothes on, then we got a problem. Get your shit together, Mother Nature!

8. Realizing You Can't Sit Anywhere

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You either leave a nice trail or burn the shit out of your skin. Leather seats? No, thank you. Seat-belts? LOL, I'll pass.

9. Finding Out Summer's Almost Over

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"I came out to have a good time and honestly, I'm feeling so attacked right now." It's a good thing you did absolutely nothing but watch Netflix and chill.

10. Enjoying Yourself

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So, you didn't do everything that you wanted to do this vacation. On the bright side, you relaxed, lived stress-free, and caught up on all of the TV shows that you won't have time to watch again until next summer. You keep doing you!

Unless You're from Alaska.

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Sorry.