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How Well Do You Remember Ron Swanson's Funniest Lines From "Parks And Rec"?

Are you man enough to try?

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  1. "Never half-ass two things."

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    "Half an ass is never enough."
    "Whole-ass one thing."
    "Multi-tasking is for the mentally deranged."
    Correct!
    Wrong!
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  2. Chris Traeger: "Ron, would you like some salad?"

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    Ron: "Since I am not a rabbit, no I do not."
    Ron: "Chris, I never knew you had such a zany sense of humor."
    Ron: "I don't even want to hear that word. It's too vulgar for the dinner table."
    Correct!
    Wrong!
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  3. "Clear alcohols are for..."

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    "...teenage girls with daddy issues."
    "...old ladies with insufferable grandchildren."
    "...rich women on diets."
    Correct!
    Wrong!
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  4. "There's only one thing I hate more than lying..."

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    "...Vegetarians."
    "...Skim milk."
    "...Being honest about feelings."
    Correct!
    Wrong!
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  5. "Dear Frozen Yogurt..."

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    ...You are not ice cream, and I will hate you forever for that."
    "...How dare you?"
    "...You are the celery of desserts."
    Correct!
    Wrong!
    Via NBC via Netflix
  6. "Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga..."

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    "...but not ridiculous."
    "...without the stupid pants and the dirty hippies."
    "...except I still get to kill something."
    Correct!
    Wrong!
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  7. "Any dog under 50 pounds is..."

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    "...is a cat, and cats are pointless."
    "...is a joke, not a pet."
    "...is just kidding itself."
    Correct!
    Wrong!
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  8. "Put some alcohol in your mouth..."

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    "...before I put my fist in it."
    "...to block the words from coming out."
    "...and eat some meat. You are a man."
    Correct!
    Wrong!
    Via NBC via Netflix
  9. "On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rushed to my side..."

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    "...so that I can be glad to leave this world behind."
    "...so the police will not have to search far and wide for my murderer."
    "...so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time."
    Correct!
    Wrong!
    Via NBC via Netflix
  10. "I'm gonna type every word I know!"

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    "America. Honor. Meat. Liberty. Breakfast."
    "Bacon. Eggs. Whiskey. Steak. Farts."
    "Rectangle. America. Megaphone. Monday. Butthole."
    Correct!
    Wrong!
    Via NBC via Netflix
  11. "I have cried twice in my life. Once, when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus..."

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    "...and today, when I was recognized as a dedicated government employee. I am so ashamed."
    "...and once again, when JJ's Diner ran out of bacon. But today just might bring about time number three."
    "...and then again when I heard that Lil' Sebastian had passed."
    Correct!
    Wrong!
    Via NBC via Netflix
  12. "I've seen three movies in my life. Bridge on the River Kwai, Patton..."

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    "...and Herbie Fully Loaded."
    "...and Old Yeller."
    "...and Breakfast at Tiffany's, which was not what I expected it to be."
    Correct!
    Wrong!
    Via NBC via Netflix

How Well Do You Remember Ron Swanson's Funniest Lines From "Parks And Rec"?

Dammit, Jerry

Did you just suffer a fart attack? You need to brush up on your Ron Swanson quotes. Go grab all the bacon and eggs you can, and get back into the most hilarious show ever. You won't be sorry.

Dammit, Jerry
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Too much snake juice

Not terrible — you know Ron Swanson, but you have a bit of trouble remembering some of his most wise quotes. Put down the snake juice, pour yourself a nice whiskey, and re-watch some of your favorite episodes. You deserve it.

Too much snake juice
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All the bacon and eggs

Well done, you! You definitely know the wisdom of Ron Swanson, and you're a better person because of it. Celebrate your victory by eating a delicious steak with some whiskey in private. Maybe even listen to the cool stylings of Duke Silver, it's your call.

All the bacon and eggs
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