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How Well Do You Remember Phoebe's Funniest Lines From "Friends"?

Oh, Pheebs.

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  1. "I wish I could..."

    NBC / Netflix
    "...but I have to go home and deal with my mother's ghost."
    "...but it sounds awful."
    "..but I'll write a song about it!"
    "...but I don't want to."
  2. "So..."

    NBC / Netflix
    "...are you ready to have all the sex?"
    "...here are my boobs."
    "...this is my bra."
    "...I'm going to kiss you now."
  3. "This is a typical lightning-bearer thing."

    NBC / Netflix
    "They just love to drink from our pool of inner power."
    "It's like, 'Um, hello. Who wants one of my phallic-shaped man cakes?'"
    "Always trying to steal our wind."
    "How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?"
  4. "She..."

    NBC / Netflix
    "...sells drugs to kids."
    "...stole my quarter!"
    "...is a lurker."
    "...sells her body to the night."
  5. "Well, Ursula is a waitress. And she lives in SoHo. And Phoebe..."

    NBC / Netflix
    "...is sitting right here."
    "...is not."
    "...is me."
    "...is on this couch."
  6. Melissa: "Phoebe, were you ever in a sorority?"

    NBC / Netflix
    "Obviously. I was in Pie A La Ziti."
    "No. I but I was in an all-girl street gang."
    "Yes, until Regina Phalange died of alcohol poisoning and we got shut down."
    "Of course. I was Thigh Mega Tampon."
  7. "I love..."

    NBC / Netflix
    "...Jack Geller!"
    "...Jacques Cousteau!"
    "...you guys so much!"
    "...James Brolin!"
  8. "If you wanna receive emails about my upcoming shows..."

    NBC / Netflix
    "...someone please teach me how to use email."
    "...then please explain to me how email works."
    "...then you will probably be disappointed because I don't use computers."
    "...then give me money so I can buy a computer."
  9. Rachel: "I got Tivo." Dr. Green: "What's Tivo?"

    NBC / Netflix
    Phoebe: "It's an STD."
    Phoebe: "It's a new word for fired."
    Phoebe: "It's slang for pregnant."
    Phoebe: "It means dumped."
  10. "Because a promise between friends..."

    NBC / Netflix
    "...means never having to give a reason."
    "...us a bond that can never be broken. NEVER!"
    "...is only as strong as the friendship it tests."
    "...means never asking why."
  11. "Some day I'll tell you about the time I stabbed the cop."

    NBC / Netflix
    "He had it coming."
    "Then you'll know what a badass bitch I really am."
    "He stabbed me first!"
    "Wait, none of you are cops, right?"
  12. "It's 'P' as in 'Phoebe,' 'H' as in 'Heebee,' 'O' as in 'O-Bee,' 'E' as in 'Eebee,' 'B' as in 'Beebee'..."

    NBC / Netflix
    "'E' as in 'Eh, I'm tired of this already.'"
    "'E' as in 'Everybody loves Phoebe.'"
    "'E' as in 'Ello there, mate!'"
    "'E' as in 'Excuse me, I have to pee.'"
  13. "You have to get off the plane. I have this feeling that something's wrong with it."

    "Something terrible will happen if you don't get off the plane!"
    "You will not die on my watch, Rachel Karen Green!"
    "Something's wrong with the left phalange."
    "I WANT YOU TO LIVE!"
  14. "Oh, for god's sake, Judy..."

    "...WAKE UP!"
    "...PICK UP THE SOCK!"
    "...PUT DOWN THE WINE AND PICK UP THE BABY!"
    "...LOOK ALIVE! EMMA IS CRYING!"
  15. "I may play the fool sometimes..."

    "...but I'm a little more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won't quit."
    "...but I know and see all."
    "...but I'm wiser than you will ever know"
    "...but all those years on the streets taught me more than your fancy book learnin' ever did."

How Well Do You Remember Phoebe's Funniest Lines From "Friends"?

Smelly Cat

You're obviously not a big Friends fan — you don't know your Pheebs from your Phalange. It's not your fault, you just need a refresher. Looks like a binge-watch is in your near future.

Smelly Cat
NBC
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David the scientist

You know a bit about Phoebe, but you must have spent too much time in Minsk, because you missed a lot. Good thing Friends is always there for a rewatch. What are you waiting for?

David the scientist
NBC
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Regina Phalange

You practically ARE Phoebe — or even better, her favorite alter ego. You know where she's been and what she's done and you love her for all of it. Because, let's be honest, Phoebe's the best.

Regina Phalange Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
NBC
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