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14 Awesomely Absurd Movie Posters From The Cannes Film Festival

There is a vampire musical staring a Backstreet Boy and a male Bridesmaids counterpart with Dustin Diamond and Metta World Peace. Seriously.

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Every year, while the stars and auteurs come out for the Cannes Film Festival, the international industry gathers for Le Marché du Film — the market that happens at the same time, in the same building. While the fest is glitzy and prestigious, the Marché is all about business, with companies from around the world offering up movies that are sometimes serious, sometimes schlocky, and sometimes haven't even been made yet.

Here are 14 highlights from the market this year. Brace yourselves.

1. Kamasutra 3D

What you really want in your Indian erotic cinema is to see the action coming right at you.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

What you really want in your Indian erotic cinema is to see the action coming right at you.

2. The Bloody Indulgent

The title for this "high-concept" vampire musical starring Backstreet Boy Kevin Richardson makes jokes a little too easy.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

The title for this "high-concept" vampire musical starring Backstreet Boy Kevin Richardson makes jokes a little too easy.

3. Eat

Here's guessing this is not the kind of movie you watch during dinner.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

Here's guessing this is not the kind of movie you watch during dinner.

4. He Never Died

Black Flag frontman Henry Rollins stars alongside The Twilight Saga's Booboo Stewart in this thriller.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

Black Flag frontman Henry Rollins stars alongside The Twilight Saga's Booboo Stewart in this thriller.

5. Blood Lake

They feed on one thing only...former Beverly Hills, 90210 cast members.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

They feed on one thing only...former Beverly Hills, 90210 cast members.

6. Bachelors

This cast could not possibly get better.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

This cast could not possibly get better.

7. Archie: Robodog

When Skynet becomes self-aware, it's going to be so embarrassed about this.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

When Skynet becomes self-aware, it's going to be so embarrassed about this.

8. The Dead Men

Entirely for the face Jackson Rathbone is making.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

Entirely for the face Jackson Rathbone is making.

9. The Depend Bles

A slightly more seasoned take on The Expendables.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

A slightly more seasoned take on The Expendables.

10. Falcon Rising

Not quite the Marvel character.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

Not quite the Marvel character.

11. I Am a Wolf

This Chinese animated movie may be aiming for Miyazaki, but its characters here are looking more like nightmare fuel.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

This Chinese animated movie may be aiming for Miyazaki, but its characters here are looking more like nightmare fuel.

12. Polanski

Damian Chapa didn't just write and direct this "unauthorized" biopic, he also cast himself as Roman Polanski.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

Damian Chapa didn't just write and direct this "unauthorized" biopic, he also cast himself as Roman Polanski.

13. Mantivities

Chris Pine actually co-wrote this comedy, but it hasn't been shot yet, so there's still time for us to convince him that "mantivities" are not a thing.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

Chris Pine actually co-wrote this comedy, but it hasn't been shot yet, so there's still time for us to convince him that "mantivities" are not a thing.

14. Zoombies

Sold.
Alison Willmore/BuzzFeed

Sold.