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    Ruby Rose Is Single Again And We Have Some Questions She Needs To Answer

    Especially now that she's back on the market.

    1. 2015 was the year of Ruby Rose—which made us question a lot of things...

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    Like...

    2. Who is this strikingly beautiful androgynous woman?

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    According to Wikipedia, she's a model and actress. Not according to Wikipedia, she will make you question your sexual orientation.

    3. And how in the world can she pull off a snorkel mask?

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    Wut the wut.

    4. And how can she make airplane lighting LOOK THIS GOOD?

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    Put me on a plane and I look like a garbage truck.

    5. And how can one person rock such lovely feminine ~vibes~...?

    6. And at the same kill it with effortless tomboy realness?

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    Like really how?

    7. And how are those friends so damn lucky?

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    I guess your best picture with Ruby is always your worst picture because who can stand up to such oozing sexiness.

    8. And what about those ~blessed~ colleagues?

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    This is the luckiest group of humans on the planet.

    9. WAIT. WHO IS THAT DOG?

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    AND HOW DO I BECOME HIM IMMEDIATELY?

    10. Or maybe if I could be reincarnated into Ruby's straw?

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    Oh, to be a straw in a cup that is Ruby's.

    11. WAIT. What if I could split myself in two and become these chopsticks?

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    And essentially have a threesome with me, myself, and Ruby?

    12. I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK: CAN I PLEASE BECOME THAT DOG?????

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    Oh to lick the face that tempts us all.

    13. And how is my body saying let's go and my heart is saying...TAKEMEPLEASE?

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    I'm not genie in a bottle. You don't have to rub me the RIGHT way—any way is fine, really.

    14. Now that we're on the topic: WHAT IS MY SEXUAL ORIENTATION DAMNIT?!

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    Feeling a little confused.

    15. But wait, she's taken right?

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    Her and Phoebe Dahl are engaged, yes?

    16. SHUT THE EFF UP. SHE'S SINGLE NOW?

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    Apparently, the ended their engagement?

    17. Like: Could Ruby wear this to our wedding?

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    Back off, Page.

    18. And we could get married and I could live out my days as a Rubysexual?

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    Eyes for Ruby and only Ruby.

    19. OH WHY CAN'T I BE AN ANIMAL?????

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    Just let me love you, Rubyyyyyyy.