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Is fearstalgia a thing?
Seriously. A puppet who has all of the emotions of a human child and is self-aware enough to know that he is unloveable to his father is depressing enough. AND THEN KIDS TURN INTO DONKEYS.
Someone. Had. A. Centipede. On. Their. Face. For. This. Godforsaken. Movie.
There's murder, demons, drinking, gambling, and hellfire. Enjoy, kids!
Will you ever get Tim Curry singing "Toxic Love" out of your head?
And that's why we don't do drugs, Timmy.
Because what children's movie would be complete without an appearance by the Devil himself?
Now, dear children, you must learn to love nature. If not, trees will turn their branches into arms with which to maul you to death.
Nothing to see here! Just a woman devolving into an evil demon!
"Phoning home" is sounding like a really good idea right about now.
You probably had nightmares about this for days.
This is NEXT LEVEL mean girl bullshit.
Because watching a man cut open his stitched-shut mouth is totally comforting.
There's a lot of weird shit that goes down in the movie, but this early scene is still pretty damn haunting.
::Still has eye contact issues.::
Because there's no greater way to end the night than with the question: "Mommy, am I going to die?"