13 Dec 2016

    The Funniest Reactions To The Plan To Build A MOAT Around Parliament House

    Yes, you read that correctly. A moat. Filled with water. Or crocodiles.

    Remember how politicians voted to build a 2.6-metre tall fence around Parliament House in Canberra after protesters glued themselves to railings in Question Time last month?

    EXCLUSIVE leaked pictures of Parliament House security plan.

    Well, it turns out the upgrades originally recommended by security agencies were much more...medieval.

    In December 2014, a plan for $300 million worth of upgrades considered by security agencies under then PM Tony Abbott included a large fence around the building and a concrete ditch around that. Aka a moat.

    EXCLUSIVE Security agencies considered digging 'moat' around Parliament House: https://t.co/Fvt1TojbmM #auspol @smh… https://t.co/2m5qOVeZ7v

    As Fairfax reports, the moat, technically called a "berm", is typically used as a defence against tanks and long-range snipers, and would have kept pedestrians and vehicles off the grass hills that encircle the building.

    Malcolm Turnbull may have "stopped the moats" after Abbott was de-moated (I'm so sorry) after the 2015 leadership spill, but that didn't stop people on Twitter from getting their moater running (I'm really, really sorry).

    I am in favour of Parliament House moat, but only if full of sharks and politicians have to swim through it on Fridays to get home.

    MPs were thrilled with their new offices

    look forward to Tony Abbott swimming in Parliament House's new moat, shouting "stop the boats" every time he comes up for air #auspol

    New $5 note even has the Parliament House moat drawn on it.... seems that somebody jumped the gun! #Auspol

    @AmyRemeikis some interesting concept designs from DPS tbh

    The only way the moat proposition could get better would be if MPs were tasked with guard duties.

    "There is a boat in the moat." Words that strike fear into the heart of Peter Dutton.

    "We have stopped the moats" - the government, probably

    [Artist's impression] https://t.co/q0SYf5xdEa

    I love that it took Malcolm Turnbull to tell some bureaucrats that what they were describing was a moat… https://t.co/Hfc7NRu9Md

    Parliament House security upgrade for the moat

    parliament house, proposed fortifications, working drawing.

    Fill the parliamentary moat with sharks caught in shark nets. Encircle it with wind turbines. Feed the sharks halal meat. Y’know fortify it.

    Incredible that parliament considered putting a Hungarian Horntail out the front of Parliament House as security

    Innovation Nation designed Australian Minotaur to guard the entrance

    Or Parliament House could weaponise cockatoos, deafening intruders by screeching in unison

    Plans for a moat around Parliament House have been abandoned in favour of alternative security measures...

    Nothing says I’m not elite like a moat

    Will Mexico pay for the moat around Parliament House? https://t.co/7bLHONuiSS

    imagen if moat around APH meant Peter Dutton had to get to work by boat

    Alice Workman is a political reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in Canberra.

    Contact Alice Workman at alice.workman@buzzfeed.com.

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