A Mom Tweeted About How Her Kid Announced Someone's Eye Broke Open In School, Then Said "I'm Done Telling This Story," And The Replies Are Hysterical 👀👀👀
"I used to ask my son about his school day until one day he was like, 'Mom, I just wanna watch the world go by.'" —@DMBreaux1017
If you're a parent, you've probably had a child tell you something wild that made you question reality. And when you ask followup questions, they refuse to elaborate.
Which is why, when author/editor/parent Kristen Mulrooney tweeted about this phenomenon, it totally resonated with people.
5-year-old: Guess what? Today in school someone’s EYE broke open.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) May 16, 2023
Me: What???
5-year-old: I’m done telling this story.
The responses to Kristen's tweet were filled with people sharing similar experiences and begging for her to get more information from her 5-year-old. These are some of the best replies:
1.
I volunteer at my kids’ school and a kindergartner told me “my mom used to have two butts, but now she just has one.” I didn’t know how to be like “tell me more about your mom’s butt” without getting kicked off campus. It haunts me to this day that I don’t have more details.
— Call me Shane ❤️ (@shanaschwarz) May 16, 2023
2.
When my daughter was in 1st grade she told her teacher ‘My Mom keeps dead babies in the closet’. I was mortified when I found out. Luckily the teacher knew I taught cpr so understood my daughter’s statement.
— Debbie Doncer (@nobody021974) May 17, 2023
3.
My niece is nearly 6 , when she was younger she just said "my brother is dead."
— ShaneBrimson🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 (@trans_guy_shane) May 17, 2023
She doesn't have a brother ... it was really weird lol
4.
I once told my dad "I wanna pull your eyeballs out and look through them". I MEANT that I wanted to witness his colour blindness, but he was understandably horrified 😂
— Susie "Nickname in Quotes" Beeca (@susiebeeca) May 17, 2023
5.
My then 6 year old cousin once shouted, “my body is on fire” I ran panicking only to realize he had a fever and his hand was on his neck 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
— Peige Omondi (@Sibindi_) May 17, 2023
6.
First grader when I did day care: "I don't believe in uteruses."
— Dystopian Revelry (@jacaphene) May 17, 2023
His mom was v pregnant at the time.
I THINK he meant universes but how do you even ask?
Maybe he knew exactly what he was saying and was dreading losing his youngest brother status.
7.
I work in a daycare and once a 4yo picked up a little pig toy and said „the pig is like a bus“ but he either couldn’t or didn’t want to explain further
— Pauly (@hopeless_hair) May 17, 2023
8.
I used to ask my son about his school day until one day he was like “Mom, I just wanna watch the world go by” https://t.co/Aoj5VL33ZZ
— Dem. Republic of Lace Fronts (@DMBreaux1017) May 17, 2023
9.
At age 5, my son ‘forged’ my signature. What an age. https://t.co/UXNhawLoL7 pic.twitter.com/BigbcIiJz0
— Londo Mollari’s Fourth Wife 💍 (@Jane_Aerie) May 17, 2023
10.
My 3 year old goes “daddy, mummy is eating my baby” She means I’m feeding the baby https://t.co/QRBZwuVfKn
— Faith Akp'ego (@EzendiNwanyi) May 17, 2023
11.
My neighbor had a breast lift and her 8 yo daughter told her teacher that her mom “had her boobs shortened”.
— Jennifer Mansfield (@JennManDonnell) May 17, 2023
12.
I adopted my daughter as a single mom. I found out one day that she was telling kids at school that her dad had been eaten by a bear. 🤦🏻♀️
— Pam Jadwin (@pjadwin) May 17, 2023
13.
When I was in grade school we all wanted to look any time we heard that another kid had cracked his head open.
— Cheribird Can Fly 💙🩵💙 🦋 (@CheribirdCanFly) May 17, 2023
I was always expecting it to be like a broken egg and disappointed because it was always just a cut.
14.
You mean… a Heelie?
— Cassie (@CassieFaeX) May 17, 2023
15.
When my little cousin met my (5”7) ex who had long hair he asked “are you a tall lady or a little man?” Ex bf said “little man” and lil cuz just said “hmm… no.” And would not elaborate😂
— bald elon musk (@pegzootie) May 17, 2023
16.
Once when my daughter was about 6 years old she told me that her friend had given her some speed at school. It took about half an hour of me coaxing out further information to learn that it was in fact some beads that her friend had given her at school.
— Flossie Teacake (@_flossieteacake) May 17, 2023
17.
At 4 my daughter convinced her pre-k class that her dad was eaten by a shark. We are a 2 mom family (never a dad in the picture). Several kids were crying as they ran to the teachers. Didn’t find out about it until the last day of school months later. Now she’s a theater kid. 😏
— Marcie 🏳️🌈 (@jedimarcie) May 17, 2023