I'm currently in the throes of moving, which means I'm once again reminded that apartments are way too expensive. Ditto furniture. And eggs. That last one has nothing to do with moving, but we're all thinking it.
While you're busy searching for semi-affordable furniture and/or eggs this week, make sure you follow all these funny ladies on Twitter!
1.
you want me to find a husband? The person who is statistically most likely to murder me?
2.
if you don’t have adhd do cocaine stop taking up all the adderall
3.
LA always looks so beautiful after it rains ❤️
4.
Waiting for my friend to flush a man’s cum out of his eye so we can go to dinner
5.
"why don't we have fancy galas or 23-year-old art prodigies anymore" oh we absolutely still have those things, you're just way too poor to participate, same as you would have been hundreds of years ago
6.
I dnt understand meal prep. I just dnt believe tht chicken is edible on dsy 5. I dnt
7.
POV: you’ve just walked into any given writers room in the 1990s
8.
Yeah taxes are stressful but you ever have a server pull up at chair to your table, then sit down and explain how the restaurant works while making unwavering eye contact
9.
I hate when ppl have kids and suddenly their house is just filled with toys! It’s our house too! When I have kids, the living room won’t look like a children’s museum. It will look like it always did. A prison. With metal bars and a working guillotine and bones everywhere.
10.
Maybe it’s time to buy groceries, or maybe it’s time to make French toast out of hamburger buns.
11.
today was my first ‘Pilates class’ because i am slowly becoming a person i used to hate. anyways, i slept through it. back to the trenches (the jane fonda workout on YouTube)
12.
he used to hate posting but now that we done he act like iCarly
13.
i hate when i’m trying to show my frens an amazing show and it starts off slow asf , like why are you embarrassing me ??
14.
that’s you
15.
Wait. TJ Maxx is called TK Maxx in the UK? Did a copyeditor do this
16.
Just saw a terf claim trans women "don't know what it's like to be the daughter when a son is wanted" and BABE I got NEWS
17.
do the guys who play music during sex ever get girlfriends
18.
i said one word
19.
Cost of living crisis is hitting everyone hard. Our 5 year old cat that moved out over a year ago just came back home full time like nothing happened. Ma’am
20.
Was in Paris on Friday night and a handsome French man was flirting with me and I asked him what his name was and he said (very Frenchly) “Ah you will be disappointed” and I thought what a silly thing to say and then he said “it is Kevin” and you know what? I was disappointed.
21.
January is a test run, we go for real in February, unless February is also bad in which case it is a rehearsal for March
Don't miss last week's funniest tweets by women!
20 Hysterical Tweets By Women That Sent Me To An Early Grave