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I, An American, Was Flabbergasted By These 100% Real British Terms — How Many Do You Know?

This British Slang Quiz Will Stump Most Americans

I, An American, Was Flabbergasted By These British Words — Let's See If You Are

Dave from Taskmaster saying "I'm keeping it real"

And if you don't consume British media, good luck! You'll need it.

Ah, to be a young, unmarried deer partying it up with your hoofed ruminant pals before your wedding! What a quintessentially British experience.  
  
In defense of the Brits, "going stag" is a phrase Americans use to describe being single at an event, so I can't make fun of them too much. But on the other hand, they call bachelorette parties "hen parties," so they've got some weird animal situations happening over there that may need further investigation. TBD on that one.

A "stag do" is a bachelor party!

I'll hand it to the Brits: It's funny. Imagine Rupert Grint saying he's "gagging for a cuppa" or Boris Johnson announcing he's "gagging for more conservative policies." 10/10, love this one. (Still ridiculous, though.)

"Gagging" means desperately craving!

The thing about the word "chuffed" is that it just sounds angry. When you say it out loud, your mouth ends in a frown, whereas "happy" or "cheerful" pulls your mouth into a smile. The hard consonants are a physical assault on the ears.  
  
Let's throw the old definition away and accept "chuffed" for what it is: an unpleasant little gremlin in the pantheon of negative emotions. The British definition has me, well, chuffed.

"Chuffed" means pleased and delighted!

Blimey! Who would've thought? Certainly not me, because "milk tooth" is an absurd synonym for "baby tooth." (The logic falls apart as soon as you remember that milk consumption does not require teeth.)  
  
If you selected any other answer because you thought, _Hmm, that sounds like a reasonable definition_, I'm sorry to disappoint. But you can rest easy knowing your logic is sound and your heart is pure.

A "milk tooth" is a baby tooth!

Look, I get it. Your chin moves (or wags) when you talk. It checks out. But I don't like it. The problem with slang like this is it's such a long walk for a short drink of water. I shouldn't have to play a convoluted game of connect the dots to understand what you're wagging your chin about!

A "chin wag" is a friendly conversation!

I know what you're thinking: _No, it's not!_ And in a spiritual sense, you're right. But in a literal sense, you're wrong, because the Brits just can't get enough of that fruity, juicy squash!  
  
Just ask the otherwise brilliant British comedian James Acaster, who dedicated a solid chunk of his 2021 special, _Make a New Tomorrow_, to this oh-so-relatable premise: "Remember when you were a kid and your mom let you make your own glass of squash for the first time?" Classic.

"Squash" is a syrup-based fruit drink!

In Britain, "hundreds and thousands" is just a sillier way of saying sprinkles. The absurd nickname comes from the supposedly unquantifiable nature of sprinkles. But that's just a cop-out, because anyone who watches _Taskmaster_ knows that you can count any quantity of food items if you try hard enough. Call the food by its rightful name\\\*, Britain! Don't let Big Sprinkles win this round!  
  
\\\*Yes, I'm conveniently ignoring the fact that certain parts of America call sprinkles "jimmies." Those people sound preposterous, and I don't condone their behavior.

"Hundreds and thousands" are sprinkles!

This kind of works if you use the toilet exclusively in the dingy, neglected bathroom (sorry, I mean "loo") of a single man in his early 20s...or, I suppose, a bog. But if you conduct your business elsewhere, "bog roll" needlessly dirties up an already unclean activity.

A "bog roll" is a roll of toilet paper!

Picture it: You're asking out someone you've been crushing on for years. This is your moment; don't blow it! What you say next could make or break this budding romance...  
  
"Ay, mate! Want to come over to my place for a chin wag? I've quite the collection of squash to quaff!"  
  
You blew it! Now you'll never find love. If only you hadn't uttered the gnarliest string of words in the entire English language!

"Quaffing" means drinking!

The problem with the word "bagsy" is that it sounds weird, and I don't like it. Hard to argue with that logic!!!  
  
But to be fair, Americans call dibs on the passenger seat of a car by shouting "Shotgun!" And that may just be the most quintessentially freedom-brained American nonsense I've ever heard.

"Bagsy" is claiming dibs!

Unless Brits charge people to use the bathroom OR they piss coins, I fail to follow the logic here. Regardless, I hope they remember to use a bog roll after they, er, complete the transaction.

"Spending a penny" is urinating!

What are you doing when you "spend a penny"?

I love this one. The famous British dry, ironic wit shines through, and I'm always here for a takedown of the English monarchy's ugly history with the penal system.

"Serving at Her Majesty's pleasure" means serving time in prison!

What does "serving at Her Majesty's pleasure" mean?

Dump your tea in the harbor and pour yourself a steaming hot cup of FREEDOM, because you're right where you belong!

You're a regular American wanker!

Congratulations on being part of the 20% of Americans who can speak two languages: English plus whatever they speak in England! (JK! We love our British siblings from across the pond.)

You're officially a dual citizen!

You may not speak the Queen's English, exactly, but that's probably a good thing. Only a tosser wants to be part of the monarchy in the 21st century!

Righty-ho! You're proper British, mate! xx

*But whoever invented the modern spelling of "b-e-a-utiful" can kick rocks. That word sucks.

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I, An American, Was Flabbergasted By These 100% Real British Terms — How Many Do You Know?

If you watch a lot of British media, you probably expect to hear some confusing (and potentially ridiculous!) words and phrases. Now it's time to test your knowledge. Do you understand more British slang than the average American? Take this quiz to find out!

Let's be honest: The Brits have just as many petty quibbles with our American slang as we do with theirs. Ultimately, all words are gibberish until we give them meaning, and I think that's beautiful*.

Did you know any of these terms?

I, An American, Was Flabbergasted By These 100% Real British Terms — How Many Do You Know?

If you watch a lot of British media, you probably expect to hear some confusing (and potentially ridiculous!) words and phrases. Now it's time to test your knowledge. Do you understand more British slang than the average American? Take this quiz to find out!

Let's be honest: The Brits have just as many petty quibbles with our American slang as we do with theirs. Ultimately, all words are gibberish until we give them meaning, and I think that's beautiful*.

Did you know any of these terms?

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