Famously, Jane Austen opened her novel Poop and Prejudice with the line: "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a person using the toilet in a public restroom, must panic when someone knocks on the door."
Getting caught with our pants down as someone knocks on the restroom door can panic the best of us — John Mulaney even talked about it in his Netflix special New in Town.
Which is why, when author/editor/bathroom user Kristen Mulrooney tweeted about a possible solution to this phenomenon, it totally resonated with people.
What’s your standard response when you’re using a public restroom and someone knocks on the door? Because I just knocked on one and the person inside simply KNOCKED BACK. This feels like a game changer.
Kristen elaborated that her instinctual go-to responses — "I'm in here" and "someone's in here" — are both flawed, which is why the knock back is such a game changer.
I always want to say “I’m in here” but that seems so egotistical, like they should know who I am? I could say “someone’s in here” but that’s so mysterious and they might think they’re supposed to guess.
The responses to Kristen's tweet were filled with people sharing their own methods for declaring a public restroom "ocupado." These are some of the best replies:
1.
@missmulrooney Why knock when you can just look?
2.
@missmulrooney I just say nothing because they are the sociopath for knocking on a locked bathroom door and can continue to wonder if there’s a person in there or if it’s just locked because the Chamber of Secrets is inside for all I care.
3.
@callme_gen @missmulrooney I stopped doing this after someone assumed the door was locked on accident and went and got the key. But I’m with you in spirit.
4.
@missmulrooney I say "occupied". Well, I did. Now, if I'm in a public restroom, they probably hear me consoling my toddler who starts crying as soon as she sees a hand dryer (they scare her) and encouraging her to pull up her undies.
5.
@missmulrooney I am in the “occupied” camp but now I’m truly shook. I’m considering switching to yodeling.
6.
@missmulrooney “I can do this all by myself, thanks!”
7.
@missmulrooney Asking "who is it?" usually does the trick
8.
@missmulrooney “Just a minute, I’m in my nightie.”
9.
@missmulrooney "just a minute!" which is entirely disingenuous, because there is zero chance I'm leaving with someone hovering just outside the door
10.
@missmulrooney I always think of Mitch Hedberg and want to say; "Go Around" but I'm just not brave enough. I usually say 'just a minute' and then feel badly for using the bathroom that someone else wants to use.
11.
@missmulrooney @EllenYChang I like to yell “Back off. You don’t want any part of this!”
12.
@missmulrooney “Sorry, already in here.” Not sure why I apologise. I just feel so awkward all of a sudden that the sorry pops out.
13.
@missmulrooney At home, I sometimes declare, "I am hiding in here!" and it occurs to me just now how funny that would be in public.
14.
@missmulrooney Cheerily respond with "bonjour"
15.
@missmulrooney I say "yoo-hoo" for some fuckin reason 😂
16.
@missmulrooney Don't remember where I first saw someone post about this, but I love the idea of someone replying "come back with a warrant"
17.
@missmulrooney "Password please". Then whatever they say, just respond "access denied".
18.
@missmulrooney "Shitting!!!"
19.
@hassaan97 @missmulrooney I make Tarzan noises
20.
@missmulrooney @adri_writes "This seat's taken!"
21.
@missmulrooney "what is wanted?"
22.
@missmulrooney “Sir, this is a Wendy’s!” usually gets a chuckle or dead silence. A win/win.
23.
@missmulrooney My husband says, "We don't want any." I don't get it, but he laughs
24.
@missmulrooney I say someone’s in here but one time I blurted out “no” because I was anxious and I wish I could just say that
25.
@missmulrooney Well, if I'm using a public restroom, the situation is already dire. Maybe I'd scream. Idk. I guess we have to find out together.