1. Geoffrey Kiprono Mutai Via upload.wikimedia.org With a time of 2:08:24, he probably also won himself a few dates. 2. Gebregziabher Gebremariam Via en.wikipedia.org 2:04:14? Yeah, that'll do it. Loss? Nope! Win!!!!!! 3. Meb Keflezighi Via en.wikipedia.org He probably won "shortest shorts" too. But with 2:05:15 we can all agree his most epic win was the marathon. 4. Marílson Gomes dos Santos Matt Kieffer / Via en.wikipedia.org With a time of 2:08:43 that motorcyclist was probably all like, "Hey, wait up!" Chaaaaaa win! 5. Martin Lel Via upload.wikimedia.org Put as many Virgin signs on him as you'd like. But at 2:09:04 there's little chance they're accurate. Drum roll...win!