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    Jun 29, 2013

    16 Random Sassy Quotes From Fashion Show Reviews

    Look out for some horror movie references, vacuous model quotes and love for Judge Judy.

    Sometimes discussing the same well-cut suits over and over gets boring, so fashion critics got creative with their writeups from the men's shows in Milan.

    1. Versace

    GABRIEL BOUYS / Getty Images

    Tim Blanks for style.com. It's a tough trade-off though: rock-hard thighs or picking up some of Judge Sheindlin's one liners.

    Via tumblr.com

    (Judge Judy wins out, always.)

    2. Philipp Plein

    Vittorio Zunino Celotto / Getty Images

    Serving second degree burns in the guise of a review, Matthew Schneier for style.com.

    3. Umit Benan

    Vittorio Zunino Celotto / Getty Images

    Apparently wholly unaware of the greater sociocultural context, Cyprian de Coteau talking during a ShowStudio panel.

    4. Diesel Black Gold

    Pier Marco Tacca / Getty Images

    Horror movie buff Sofia Celeste writing for NowFashion.

    5. DSquared2

    Pier Marco Tacca / Getty Images

    A weary Tim Blanks writing for style.com.

    DSquared2 was so traumatic, I'll just type what happened: Curtains pulled back to reveal a tropical scene with a crashed wartime plane, overgrown with plants; centre stage was a waterfall, underneath which stood a model in tight white swim briefs, presumably meant to be a pilot coping with the traumas of war by acting sexy. What followed was a procession of the sort of clothes you'd expect to see on a budget airline flight back from Majorca, from white trousers cropped mid-calf to vests.

    6. Prada

    GIUSEPPE CACACE / Getty Images

    A condescending section of Cathy Horyn's review for the New York Times, which none of those apparently terrible "junior editors" will bother to read because they're all to busy Instagramming photos of their cats or something, am I right?

    7. Salvatore Ferragamo

    Vittorio Zunino Celotto / Getty Images

    Sofia Celeste for NowFashion.

    8. Bottega Veneta

    Pier Marco Tacca / Getty Images

    The AP with a killer quote from backstage at Bottega.

    9. Gucci

    GABRIEL BOUYS / Getty Images

    Lou Stoppard for ShowStudio.

    10. Moncler Gamme Bleu

    Victor Boyko / Getty Images

    Matthew Schneier writing for style.com.

    11. Vivienne Westwood.

    Pier Marco Tacca / Getty Images

    Lou Stoppard for ShowStudio. Bonus: here's the quintessential "gah yah" experience summed in video form.

    12. Emporio Armani

    GIUSEPPE CACACE / Getty Images

    Charlie Porter writing for the Financial Times, just before the craze in Paris for baseball caps stitched with the "Feline" slogan instead of Celine. (Then instead of "Dion" written below, there's just "Meow.")

    13. Trussardi

    GIUSEPPE CACACE / Getty Images

    Lou Stoppard reviewing for ShowStudio.

    14. Giorgio Armani

    GIUSEPPE CACACE / Getty Images

    A little age-shaming wrapped up in a compliment, courtesy of Tim Blanks, for style.com.

    15. Fendi

    GABRIEL BOUYS / Getty Images

    Writing for NowFashion, Sofia Celeste could have just run with the "indoor beach" metaphor, but no.

    16. Dolce & Gabbana

    Vittorio Zunino Celotto / Getty Images

    And it'll take more than a penile surprise to impress Cathy Horyn, writing for the New York Times.