16 Random Sassy Quotes From Fashion Show Reviews

Look out for some horror movie references, vacuous model quotes and love for Judge Judy.

Sometimes discussing the same well-cut suits over and over gets boring, so fashion critics got creative with their writeups from the men’s shows in Milan.

1. Versace

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Tim Blanks for It’s a tough trade-off though: rock-hard thighs or picking up some of Judge Sheindlin’s one liners.

(Judge Judy wins out, always.)

2. Philipp Plein

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Serving second degree burns in the guise of a review, Matthew Schneier for

3. Umit Benan

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Apparently wholly unaware of the greater sociocultural context, Cyprian de Coteau talking during a ShowStudio panel.

4. Diesel Black Gold

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Horror movie buff Sofia Celeste writing for NowFashion.

5. DSquared2

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A weary Tim Blanks writing for

Bonus: more DSquared2 snark from Charlie Porter, writing for the Financial Times.

DSquared2 was so traumatic, I’ll just type what happened: Curtains pulled back to reveal a tropical scene with a crashed wartime plane, overgrown with plants; centre stage was a waterfall, underneath which stood a model in tight white swim briefs, presumably meant to be a pilot coping with the traumas of war by acting sexy. What followed was a procession of the sort of clothes you’d expect to see on a budget airline flight back from Majorca, from white trousers cropped mid-calf to vests.

6. Prada


A condescending section of Cathy Horyn’s review for the New York Times, which none of those apparently terrible “junior editors” will bother to read because they’re all to busy Instagramming photos of their cats or something, am I right?

7. Salvatore Ferragamo

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Sofia Celeste for NowFashion.

8. Bottega Veneta

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The AP with a killer quote from backstage at Bottega.

9. Gucci

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Lou Stoppard for ShowStudio.

10. Moncler Gamme Bleu

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Matthew Schneier writing for

11. Vivienne Westwood.

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Lou Stoppard for ShowStudio. Bonus: here’s the quintessential “gah yah” experience summed in video form.

12. Emporio Armani


Charlie Porter writing for the Financial Times, just before the craze in Paris for baseball caps stitched with the “Feline” slogan instead of Celine. (Then instead of “Dion” written below, there’s just “Meow.”)

13. Trussardi


Lou Stoppard reviewing for ShowStudio.

14. Giorgio Armani


A little age-shaming wrapped up in a compliment, courtesy of Tim Blanks, for

15. Fendi

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Writing for NowFashion, Sofia Celeste could have just run with the “indoor beach” metaphor, but no.

16. Dolce & Gabbana

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And it’ll take more than a penile surprise to impress Cathy Horyn, writing for the New York Times.

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