Sometimes discussing the same well-cut suits over and over gets boring, so fashion critics got creative with their writeups from the men's shows in Milan.
1. Versace
2. Philipp Plein
3. Umit Benan
4. Diesel Black Gold
5. DSquared2
DSquared2 was so traumatic, I'll just type what happened: Curtains pulled back to reveal a tropical scene with a crashed wartime plane, overgrown with plants; centre stage was a waterfall, underneath which stood a model in tight white swim briefs, presumably meant to be a pilot coping with the traumas of war by acting sexy. What followed was a procession of the sort of clothes you'd expect to see on a budget airline flight back from Majorca, from white trousers cropped mid-calf to vests.