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Fashion Show Trolls Opponents Of "Gays In The Military" With Campy Uniforms And Naval Tattoos

24 photos of the new Thom Browne menswear collection, featuring lipstick-wearing models in military frock coats... and military frocks. And frilly socks too.

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Thom Browne's spring/summer 2014 menswear show took place at l'École Militaire, architecturally iconic military school in central Paris.

Browne, a designer renowned for designs both fantastic and fantastical, took military tailoring and ornamentation as his collection's starting point — and developed the theme to a place sure to haunt "Don't Ask Don't Tell" repeal opponents' dreams. Nightmares, really. Dark, dark nightmares that are quite possibly a little bit arousing but you can't tell anyone about that because then "the homosexual agenda" has won again.

Besides, how can our armies keep us safe if they're taking breaks in the trenches to re-apply their lipstick? (A quick point of clarification: that's a wholly facetious question.)

2. The show opened with two models stomping up and down the catwalk in red, white and blue leather ensembles, to that tune the Flying Monkeys march to in The Wizard of Oz.

Alex Rees

They then spent the remainder of the show standing in these nicely-wallpapered boxes, like the guards outside a royal palace, perhaps — just far more glamorous. Bearskin hats are out, and feathered ones are, like, so in.


7. Look at this lovely sleeveless frock coat and it's quintessentially Thom Browne striped lining.

Julien M. Hekimian / Getty Images

Enjoyable bonus: if you look at the sleeveless coat, you'll also spot some biceps.

9. Look at the lovely, no, fabulous embroidered anchors.

Julien M. Hekimian / Getty Images

(Liberace wished his chauffeurs looked this good, minus the not-actually-cameltoe-but-looks-like-it groin creasage.)


18. Once all the looks had walked, the models stood to attention in what's most definitely the most passing out parade ever.

Julien M. Hekimian / Getty Images

You will also notice their chunky boots have chunky heels. You will notice this, and you will like it.


19. You might just be passing out from the level of high-camp glamour on display, in fact.


Or from the heat — by the end of the show I couldn't quite tell if I'd worked up a sweat from the biting social commentary on hand, or from the fact that the runway took place outside on a very hot Parisian afternoon.

But the show wasn't quite over.

Thank goodness. I wish it had never ended, and that I'd be attending flouncy West Point cadets' balls with the runway models forever and ever and always slow dancing to songs by Taylor Swift.

20. A model in a formal frock coat and veritable pantaloons walked out, carrying a folded piece of white silk reverentially. The two models pictured below were tasked with carrying his coat's train.


22. The models remained standing to attention for, as has become a trend in Paris this season, showgoers to take close-up photos of the looks.

Jacques Brinon / AP

Considering the incredible level of detail in both tailoring and decoration visible, the opportunity was a treat. Browne's work transcends the boundaries between fashion and art, even as it's all too often sidelined as campy/outlandish.