1. Everything about the Prabal Gurung show was beautiful and expensive.
Why, even this pile of hairpieces backstage looks classy.
2. And then, when street style photographers including Bill Cunningham happily snapped away, showgoers filed out of the venue past a homeless man fast asleep.
(Still, though, a slightly less awkward photo op than this infamous moment from the fall 2013 season last September.)
3. Look out for the following Alexander Wang pieces to be all over the street style set in six months time.
They love a good "subversive" slogan, and how could anyone resist the word "WANG" cut neatly out of leather evening gloves?
4. Also at Alexander Wang, Solange Knowles worried that her face would be too shiny.
But it wasn't really, so that's a relief.
5. I experienced a similar "wet face" panic attack at the DKNY show.
6. Omnipresent songstress Rita Ora closed the DKNY show, clearly having taken her coquettish runway moves from the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.
7. Back to the DKNY front row though, just briefly, because holy shit that is ANTHONY KIEDIS.
8. Despite his valiant effort, Kiedis loses out on the "do not want mustache" award to Justin Bieber at the Y-3 show.
9. Marie Claire's Nina Garcia actually wore Google Glasses, just like she told everyone she would.
And so did tons of people at Lincoln Center. They all looked ridiculous.
10. Thanks to the spring 2014 Tocca show, your little sister's old dance costume is now fashionable. So go find it, and wear it EVERYWHERE.
This, of course, means the lack of any Dance Moms on the front row is a crazy missed opportunity.
11. Also, perhaps conscious of the fact that soon-to-be Dancing With The Stars star Amber Riley was sat front row, Tadashi Shoji showed dresses that could easily work for a foxtrot.
Granted, they could use a few more sequins to be ballroom-ready. But then, couldn't everything use a few more sequins?
Not that you can — or should — patent a sheer skirt with some floral frippery at the hem. I mean, you could just use net curtains.
13. Hippest-of-the-hip label Rodebjer did us all a huge favor and made fashion robes a thing.
Which OFFICIALLY bests daytime pajamas as the next "I dare you to point out that I'm dressed like a hospital patient" trend.
But they also showed looks smattered with sequins, which balances out the loungewear quite nicely.
Remember that point about the sequins? Yeah, point proven.
14. Glittery things will also suffice, like this wonderful boxy clutch at Creatures of the Wind.
15. In fact, the whole Creatures of the Wind show was just the right kind of twee. Delightful.
16. Alice Smith provided a therapy session through the medium of song at the Michael Bastian show.
That's Smith on the left; these models in pineapple pants are just here because said pants are PHENOMENAL.
17. An energetic performance by Janelle Monáe happened at the Rebecca Minkoff show.
18. And in other music news, tassel-covered models at BCBG walked the runway to an ethereal cover of Daft Punk's "Get Lucky"
19. Many of the glass water bottles left for guests at the Honor show got nudged off the bench seating and broke.
20. Aside from those errant glass shards though, the show's runway set was a cute little fairytale wonderland.
And the models, skipping along all merrily like, clearly had a blast.
21. Nicholas K added another — wait for it, wait for it — FEATHER TO HIS CAP with a chic, minimalistic spring 2014 collection.
Technically it's another feather to his (models') headwraps, but still.
This poor model (who Getty Images helpfully captions as "a model") has her feather upside down though. #modelproblems
22. NAOMI CAMPBELL closed the Diane Von Furstenberg show. Really though, she shut it down.
23. While her former The Face co-mentor Coco Rocha opened Zac Posen's show.
24. The Posen collection was very Posen. These models, perhaps confused by the very nature of their pleated/folded gowns, were particular favorites.
25. There was also this model with green hair. Presumably everyone has forgotten about Charlotte Free already, then.
26. The Jonas Brothers sat front row at the Richard Chai LOVE show and everyone flipped their shit.
27. And then Harper Beckham sat front row at her mom's fashion show and everyone REALLY flipped their shit.
Harper managed to distract just about everyone from Victoria's latest collection: simple, chic geometry and color-blocking.
28. Meanwhile, both Miss USA Erin Brady and Miss Teen USA Cassidy Wolf sat front row at Custo Barcelona and few folks other than myself seemed to care.
29. As far as exciting fashion show front row sightings, for me this came second to when I noticed two-time Survivor contestant Andrea Boehlke at Nautica.
I planned to ask Andrea for some tips for getting cast on Survivor post show. (Because if there's one thing that show needs, it's more FASHION JOURNALISTS; if you're reading this, Survivor casting team, email me.) But she scampered off backstage with Dallas reboot hottie Josh Henderson, who she is now apparently dating, to take photos. And to be fair, if you were dating Josh Henderson, you would never miss an opportunity to have photos that document the relationship taken either.
30. Anyway, back to beauty queens and Custo Barcelona. Imagine how wonderful the world would be if all pageant contestants wore Custo gowns.
They're all certainly better looks than the lime green monstrosity Miss USA wore as her opening look at this year's pageant.
31. Or just how wonderful the world would be if everyone wore this fringed coat everywhere, all the time.
32. In other fringefests: the Christian Siriano show. This sort of thing must be ticklish.
Siriano's show went to the tropics, and the runway venue's temperature sure matched.
Also, here's a photo of more hair extensions backstage at the show, because that's a thing photographers are shooting a lot this season.
33. Another Wintour moment: Anna found her newest trophy athlete friend at Rag & Bone — Russell Westbrook.
Russell was quite excited, as his apparently-not-a-caption-even-though-it-is Instagram photo of the moment illustrates.
34. Zimmermann's collection showed and could be best described as jellyfish couture.
Technically the inspiration was "circus" but we all know what we're seeing. And it's lovely all the same.
35. The Ruffian show was an adorable mix of rocker chick/girly girl sensibilities that has surely been described by the fashion press as "flirty" over 1,000 times already.
Flirty and fun! Feminine and flirty! Flirtatiously flirty!
36. And Delpozo designer Josep Font continues to present some of the most whimsically beautiful designs at New York Fashion Week as a whole.
Three seasons in a row knocked out of the park now. Font is one to watch.
37. The Delpozo show also featured the best bold blue eyeshadow.
38. Veritable fashion poetry was distributed at the A Détacher show.
Here's potty-mouth Valentina (look #21) and artsy Valeria (look #28).
, Valerie doesn't appear to have actually scribbled all over herself like the show notes promise. But maybe she used invisible ink.
39. Deep breaths please. This happened at Nautica and then it happened again at Parke & Ronen.
Enjoy more of the shirtless goodness here.
40. Some more menswear moments: This season's N. Hollywood collection took cowboy culture as its theme and really went there.
Even eschewing traditional seating charts for rows titled "Cowboy" and "Horse." This show was great.
41. Shades of the Wild West also abound, sort of, at Billy Reid. His collection walked along a faux-railway track.
42. Wait, did someone say "Wild West" as in Will Smith's live performance of "Wild Wild West" at the MTV Video Music Awards?
Oh well fuck it, I'm running this GIF anyway.
43. Duckie Brown heard about fashion people hating on sleeves and really ran with the idea.
Also, this is an epic bowl cut. Viva la '90s.
44. General Idea designer Bumsuk Choi had a similar idea. Basically, everybody needs to cut the sleeves off of every shirt, sweater, and jacket they own YESTERDAY.
In general, the General Idea show was really strong.
45. And it also showcased the snazziest sports cars...
46. ...that is, until last night's epic Opening Ceremony show/rager.
47. A beautiful blonde model walked the runway at Jen Kao... and was accompanied by a similarly blonde human.
Because, come on now, dogs at fashion week can never be a bad thing.
48. Speaking of dogs, Ostwald Helgason's presentation included cheery sweaters with embroidered, doggy style motifs of Jeff Koons' balloon dogs.
49. Kanye West showed up at the Hood by Air show looking glum.
50. Speaking of, the disco ball-braided hair at Hood by Air was insane. And glamorous.
51. West also attended the Louise Goldin show — one of the standouts of the season thus far.
52. At Hervé Léger, label's tradition of bandage-strapped body-con dresses held firm (as a body-con dress would).
But this time with a Grecian warrior/bondage twist. We will probably seeing all three of these looks on post-pregnancy Kim Kardashian.