1. This single look from the Jeremy Scott collection sums up how everyone feels by the last day of New York Fashion Week.
Pity those of us who trek around the European show circuit too. PITY US.
5. Meanwhile at Calvin Klein, a paparazzi photographer tried to kill Nicole Kidman, period.
Photographer Carl Wu ran his bicycle into poor Nicole outside the show while trying to snap her photo. She fell over.
Though Kidman will reportedly press charges, she recovered in time to take her front row seat for the show.
7. At Tommy Hilfiger, the models walked on a boardwalk in lieu of a traditional runway.
The runway set was created with actual sand — that inevitably got in my sandals.
The surfer-inspired collection’s finale walked to the tune of The Beach Boys’ “Surfin’ USA.”
An obvious choice, but still delightful.
8. Meanwhile, Phillip Lim’s collection was inspired by the illustrations in high school geology textbooks.
Or “Trying to find some stable ground in the turmoil of our ecosystems.” Yeah, what he said.
9. The Alice + Olivia presentation, which was lovely, featured lampposts and bell jars. It’s all about the staging!
10. Weir also attended The Blonds show, which featured arguably the BEST front row possible.
In other words, TYRA BANKS IN THE HOUSE. Or, really, IN MILK STUDIOS. (But only briefly, showing up less than five minutes pre-show and dashing out right afterward. Other celebs, like, say, Iggy Azalea, took the cargo lifts back downstairs with regular folk.)
11. Also at The Blonds: Amanda Lepore!
15. Anyway, here’s Anna Wintour finding out we said her front row appearances were less fab than the above old ladies.
WAIT FOR IT.
Side-eye. Textbook-worthy side-eye.
Phillip Lim will use this photo as inspiration for his next textbook photo-themed collection, we can only hope.
16. And then also, in front row scenes that couldn’t be any less fabulous, here’s Real Housewife of D.C. Michaele Salahi and her husband, Journey guitarist Neil Schon.
For unknown reasons, they landed front row seats at a number of this season’s fashion shows. Of course, Salahi and her former husband Tareq infamously crashed a 2009 state dinner at the White House, so, you know…
17. Their makeout session spiced things up at the Rachel Zoe show, which was otherwise another collection of clothes Zoe would have worn herself in the ’70s.
And then Roger would find the photos in an album hidden in a box at the back of one of Rachel’s many closets during an episode of The Rachel Zoe Show (RIP). He will be instructed by a producer — who, of course, already knows about the album — to open the box, then the album in turn, chuckle wryly, and then gleefully show the camera. Cut to an interview with Rachel, who will remark, inevitably, “I DIE.” End scene.
Perhaps not quite as epic as Browne’s latest menswear collection, but still a damn good show.
Browne explained, just in case you were confused, that his collection was inspired by — wait for it — “insane Elizabethan clowns.”
The show also featured pearly cat purses, in case “insane Elizabethan clowns” wasn’t good enough already.
And the designer took his final bow with both Karlie Kloss AND Joan Smalls.
Sometimes it’s fine to show off like that, because when you can book both Kloss and Smalls for your show, you should remind everyone.
24. At the show, Emmy Rossum, who’s pretending to be a photographer… when she’s actually just taking blurry shots of the floor.
Also worthy of note: Rashida Jones in hipster glasses.
28. Let’s not forget the fashion show featuring dresses designed solely from materials found in a Subway store.
NEEDS MORE PICKLES, but still a great effort.
30. And here’s a fun photo of models in the show lounging backstage, which could be a capsule collection’s presentation in itself.
Also at Proenza: this wonderful shagpile reimagined.
32. Wes Gordon helped perpetuate the bizarre trend that is wearing a jacket sans sleeves.
40. And the show’s front row — jam-packed with Real Housewives, as front rows should be — was also dramatic.
Alongside the housewife triptych, BEAUTY QUEENS!
42. One more Housewife moment: Kim Zolciak’s daughter Brielle walked in the Michael Kuluva show.
After all, if you’re not wearing Jeremy Scott’s “I’M A MESS” sweater, insouciant shellfish and overpriced cocktails sum up the #NYFW experience quite well themselves.
And now, it’s off to London.
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