Amanda* says: “I COULD HAVE BEEN A BIGGER DEAL THAN MILEY CYRUS AND YOU ALL KNOW IT.”
Amanda* says: “I’m being stalked by the paparazzi even when I just want to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at some nice sculptures and tan on the roof deck they follow me and look here they are pretending to take photos of some lady in a too-tight yellow dress when really it’s all about me in the background with my latte and shades.”
Amanda*: “All I want is a boyfriend who wants us to grow old and to get fat together. Wait, what were we supposed to be talking about I need to go back to the gym I want to lose 10 pounds.”
*This may (or may not) come as a surprise but neither the photos or accompanying quotes are real. But they are in our dreams, right?
- It's Inauguration Day — Donald Trump will be sworn in as the 45th president of the United States of America at 12 p.m. ET 🇺🇸
- One of the nation's top legal groups is seeking a wide array of records from four federal agencies to challenge Trump's potential business conflicts.
- Notorious Mexican drug lord Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán has been extradited to the United States to face multiple charges.
- Gingers rejoice! A redhead emoji may be coming your way soon 🙌