If you love your mom, you'll want to listen to this with her.
Girls who make good life decisions need not apply.
If you don't get the answer you want, just take out the game and blow on it.
Are you interesting enough to appear on syndicated reruns 4-5 times a day?
Dating lines have never been blurrier, so let us tell you whether your situation is most likely a casual fling or if you have a significant other on your hands.
Because we all know you don't mess with Ocarina of Time. It's a serious thing.
Do you lead a semi-charmed life, or are you a loser, baby?
Can you tell which are super tough band names, and which are passionate romance novels?
Can you earn an A+++, or are you in the unmistakable cone of ignorance?
You don't have to admit it, but you know deep down that this is you.