Skip To Content

    17 Reasons Why We'll Never, Ever Forget Joe Hockey

    Join us as we try to grasp these precious memories of the former treasurer, before they disappear like cigar smoke in the wind...

    1. For blowing cigar smoke in our faces on the eve of a tough budget.

    The age of entitlement is over. .. as soon as we finish these cigars. #auspol #cigar

    2. For helpfully informing poor people that they don't drive cars.

    Disney Pixar

    "They say you've got to have wealthier people or middle-income people pay more. Well, change to the fuel excise does exactly that," he said in 2014.

    "The poorest people either don't have cars or actually don't drive very far in many cases."

    3. For dancing in a tutu to the song "Dancing Queen" on national television...

    Network Ten

    4. ... And for dancing in his office to the song “The Best Day Of My Life”after delivering a brutal budget.

    Stefan Postles / Getty Images

    It wasn't a great look.

    5. For that emotional "over my dead body" speech on asylum seeker children.

    View this video on YouTube

    youtube.com

    With a hoarse voice and choking back tears, Hockey was speaking against the Malaysia Solution in 2012.

    "I will never ever support a people swap where you can send a 13-year-old child unaccompanied to a country without supervision. Never. It'll be over my dead body," he said.

    But since then, activists and human right groups have been urging the government to stop sending unaccompanied child asylum seekers to Nauru.

    6. For this incredible advice to young home buyers:

    vine.co

    When questioned about the situation for first home buyers in a press conference, Hockey replied, “the starting point for first home buyers is to get a job that pays good money.”

    7. For looking like Shrek... and *nailing* the accent.

    vine.co

    8. For this angelic duet with Kevin Rudd on breakfast television.

    vine.co

    9. And for just generally loving the shit out of being on breakfast television.

    Sunrise / Seven

    Seriously. Kochie should watch his back.

    10. For being open about his struggle with weight and his gastric sleeve surgery.

    Mark Graham / AAPIMAGE

    After his operation in 2013, he told the Australian Financial Review, “I’m shaping up for Wayne Swan’s job.”

    11. For repping for all the sweaty dudes out there.

    David Crosling / AAPIMAGE

    12. For saving Kevin Rudd's life on the Kokoda Track...

    Sunrise / Channel Seven

    13. .. And then afterwards saying he should have let him drown.

    Sunrise / Seven

    Speaking at an election rally in 2013, Hockey jokingly apologised for his act of heroism.

    "I apologise to the Australian people. I should have drowned him when I had the chance in the mountains," he said, to a round of laughter from the party faithful.

    "In fact I did actually apologise to Julia Gillard on Wednesday before question time, and she said 'Yes you should reflect on that'."

    14. For successfully suing Fairfax over this front page which if you are reading this Joe, we definitely do not agree with:

    Fairfax

    15. For falling in love with puppies and being entirely unable to maintain his shit.

    Lisa Maree Williams / Getty Images
    Lisa Maree Williams / Getty Images

    16. And for declaring his undying love for the worst band in the world.

    Why are so many people down on Nickelback? Surely with Foo Fighters they are the closest modern rivals to AC/DC for sing a long rock!

    17. And for this. This perfect gif.

    Twitter: @mrbenjaminlaw

    Farewell Joe Hockey. No politician will ever hold a a slowly deflating balloon while vigorously waving an Australian flag as joyfully and as menacingly as you.

    Alexandra Lee is a politics reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in Sydney, Australia.

    Contact Alex Lee at alexandra.lee@buzzfeed.com.

    Got a confidential tip? Submit it here