11 Totally Legit Reasons Why Western Australia Should Become Independent

WA premier Colin Barnett is threatening to secede from Australia over the GST. Here's why we reckon they should.

West Australian premier Colin Barnett, has been making some serious remarks about WA independence lately.

Alan Porritt / AAPIMAGE

“The commonwealth is jealous of Western Australia," he told The Australian.

"They are jealous of our economic success, they are jealous of our success in Asia and of the fact that the Australia-China relationship is essentially China-Western Australia."

The premier is angry about the share of $57 billion in GST revenue his state will get back, compared to how much they have to fork over.

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The Commonwealth Grants Commission has recommended that WA should get less than 30 cents out of every dollar of GST it raises in the next financial year. The rate is currently at 38 cents.

Colin Barnett says this isn't fair and his resource-rich state should start cutting ties with the federation and turn to Asia for trade instead.

"If the GST is not resolved, Western Australia's future is not with the rest of Australia in a financial or economic sense." he said.

So here's 11 good reasons why WA should just shut up and secede already.

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1. They've tried this shit before.

liswa.wa.gov.au / Wikimedia Commons

Even before federation, WA was whingeing about sharing profits from mining, but back then it was about gold. In 1900, a petition was sent to Queen Victoria arguing for a new colony called "Auralia" in the WA goldfields. It wasn't successful.

In 1933, the secession movement took hold over the falling price of wheat. A state referendum saw 68% of West Australians in support of leaving the Commonwealth, but the application was knocked back the British parliament.

Bravo

2. They're not even in the Constitution. Here's the opening statement of the preamble:

australianpolitics.com

Why isn't WA on there? Because when all the other states were sitting around with Federation Santa writing up the constitution, Western Australia was still making up its mind about whether to join, so they went ahead without it. You snooze, you lose WA.

They stuck WA in a little later.

3. They've already got a flag.

J S Battye Library of West Australian History / commons.wikimedia.org

This is the flag the Western Australian delegation made in 1933 when they went over to London. And look, it's not great but it'd be a shame to waste it.

4. They've already got a name.

australiapostcards.com.au

The Dominion of Westralia was the name they came up with in 1933, and like the flag, it's also pretty average, but it has a good Game of Thronesy vibe to it. Plus it'll beat anything they can come up with in the inevitable national country-naming competition on Twitter.

5. They've already got a song.

State Library of WA / au.news.yahoo.com

The secessionists penned a national anthem when the referendum passed, and the first stanza is awesome.

Land of the vast horizons,
Land where the reef gold gleams,
For chains awaits thee glory
Dominion of our dreams
We will heal thy wrong
By a justice strong
And our victor song, Westralia, Westralia, Westralia shall be free.

The second verse contains the words::

Land of the swan-jet plumaged,
Of faery crystal cave

It's pretty nice to imagine an entire country solemnly united, hand-on-heart, singing a song about fairies.

6. Australia would have a sleek new look.

Google / BuzzFeed

Like a 2,529,875 square kilometre weight has been lifted from our shoulders.

7. We wouldn't have to deal with the three hour time zone difference during daylight savings.

Universal Pictures

What's that? You can't live tweet QandA at the same time as everyone else? Oh wait we don't care, because you're not in Australia anymore.

8. We wouldn't have to buy their dirt any more.

David Ramos / Getty Images

Westralia would definitely sell their coal and all that other crap they dig up to China, so we would be forced to invest in clean, renewable energy. Win!

Also, they don't even have much left in the ground, so eventually they'll come crawling back to us, begging to buy our precious, precious wind at an inflated price.

9. We'd smash them at the Olympics.

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See ya in Rio, Westralia.

10. In fact, we'd smash them at AFL too.

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The Westralian Black Swans vs a super-league made up of every other team in Australia? They don't stand a chance.

11. And this woman would definitely be their Queen.

Paul Kane / Getty Images

All Hail Gina the First, by the Grace of God of Westralia and the United Kingdom of Great Rinehartia and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Iron Ore, Defender of the Family Fortune.