Let's go skiing!How about scuba diving?Can we just chill on the beach?Leave me alone, I want to journal.There's no time for vacation!Caving TFW!Hang-gliding classes?Let's visit a castle!Where the fuck am I?
"All that""Aight""Bangin'""Slammin'""The Bomb""Dank""Don't go there!""Freakin'""Shwing"
Which Extinct Animal Are You?
You are just like the iconic archaeopteryx — a transitional fossil that is part regular dinosaur and part early bird. You are elegant, badass, and adventurous. Just like it took some careful digging to reveal archaeopteryx's beautifully preserved feathers, it also takes a little digging to get to your true self. But those feathers are there, and they will take you all over the world one day!
You are just like the pioneering tiktaalik — a fishy thing with some little leg-like nubs that sometimes allowed it to walk around on land. Tiktaalik was pretty much the astronaut of the Mesozoic, comfortable in his normal fishy environment, but ballsy enough to go, for brief periods of time, where no vertebrate had gone before. You too epitomize bravery, an adventurous spirit, and innovative thinking.
You are just like the pioneering tiktaalik — a fishy thing with some little leg-like nubs that sometimes allowed it walk around on land. Tiktaalik was pretty much the astronaut of the Mesozoic, comfortable in his normal fishy environment, but ballsy enough to go, for brief periods of time, where no vertebrate had gone before. You, too, epitomize bravery, an adventurous spirit, and innovative thinking.
You are just like an ammonite! These awesome looking sea-critters were everywhere back in the day, but not much is known about their behavior. Like them, you are elegant as fuck, but also seductively mysterious. People have been known to frame ammonites’ likeness on the walls of their majestic mansions and palatial villas and the same will be certainly be said of you one day.
You’re just like a trilobite — those bug-like critters that used to maraud around ancient ocean floors. Like you, trilobites have done it all. They’ve been predators, scavengers, and swimmers, lived all over the globe, and existed over 250 million years of Earth history. Still, they are humble and impossible not to love, just like you.
You are just like the noble mastodon — the elephant ancestors of the Ice Age. Like a mastodon, you are deeply intelligent, stoic, and principled. People follow your lead and take your advice extremely seriously, even if your hair is a bit disheveled from time to time.
You are just like a pterosaur — the first vertebrate creature to evolve the ability to fly. A fierce predator, the pterosaur was innovative, fearless, and deadly. You may not be “deadly” in the literal sense, but are not the kind of person that should be messed with. Luckily, most realize your brash brilliance and choose not to cross you.
You are the mighty T. Rex — the most terrifying lizard of all time. Like the T. rex, you are known by all, loved by some, feared by many, and most likely a bit misunderstood. There’s no question that you are a larger-than-life figure, but you’ve got a softer, more nurturing side as well.
You are the nightmarishly wild hallucigenia — one of the earliest animals ever to live on this planet. People were so confused when they first found hallucigenia that they reconstructed it upside down. That’s just like you. You are a fucking wildcard — unpredictable, enigmatic, and a goddamn blast to be around.
Science Writer, Fossil Beastmaster
Contact Alex Kasprak at email@example.com.
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