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Twitter Should ...

Here's what Twitter needs to do to save itself from ruin.

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For nearly as long as there's been a Twitter, people have been using it to tweet what Twitter should be doing differently. And, evidently,Twitter should be doing a lot of stuff!

Twitter should stop this RT function immediately.

Twitter should change "what's happening" before you tweet to "what's Gucci"

Twitter should send notifications when you're about to get fired and divorced.

twitter should somehow filter your drunk tweets and not even post them cuz wtf did i try to tweet last night anyway

Twitter should sell extra characters cuz im sure there's people dumb enough to buy them

I feel like Twitter should make you give me your location when you tweet at me so if I need to go lay hands on you I'm able to do that.

I feel like Twitter should come with a meltdown warning so we can evacuate when it hits the fan.

Twitter should kill the fave. It's pointless and masturbatory. Retweet or bust. @jack @adambain @kevinweil

twitter should print all of a persons tweets and mentions, put them in a personal book, and sell them.

Twitter should have a feature that alerts you when someone looks through your profile for 10 minutes

Twitter should have an option where it should slowly scrolls for you as you read tweets

Twitter should pay the NBA a royalty.

Twitter should release a Phelps Lochte sentiment index. #JustSaying

twitter should delete my account

Twitter should make an update to be able to retweet yourself. I think I'm freaking hilarious

twitter should make it mandatory for the users to publicize their contact numbers. very convenient for guys.

Twitter should give up with the whole "happened while you were away" feature, mostly it causes just poop.

Twitter should give us 1776 characters on the 4th of July

@MikeIsaac Twitter should copy Graph Search. People Who Tweeted Profanities While In Church, etc. etc.

Twitter should have its own version of the fb poke, we can call it the Twitter boink.

I think Twitter should buy GoPro, bros!

Twitter should buy http://t.co/ls7s88Lvdc

idk i think twitter should buy facebook

@CNBCFastMoney Twitter should buy Blackberry. Tom

Twitter should buy yikyak and do something with it.

Actually, what I think should happen is Twitter should acquire Medium and make Evan Williams the CEO again -- boom!

Twitter should buy Flipboard, and then Google should buy Twitter.

Twitter should buy AOL to integrate 90’s away message statuses into tweets.

Twitter should buy Sprint PCS. And a haircut and some clean clothes ffs

Twitter should buy giphy so I could troll people without copy & paste

I think Twitter should buy skittles and call them Twittles. Just an idea

Twitter should buy Slack and call it Twitter For Business

Maybe Twitter should buy Instagram and then suspend people for posting photos.

I think twitter should buy shazam. Perfect fit imo.

Its very simple @twitter should buy @nuzzel! Period...!

The staff of twitter should buy everyone that reaches 500,000 followers a pizza

Twitter should buy Facebook, destroy it, then fix fucking whatsapp

.@twitter should buy naming rights for the new @warriors arena and call it 'The Birdcage'

@twitter should buy horse racing it would be good for business. Play the races which aren't that long on periscope que no ?

It's my birthday @twitter should buy me something. 🐴🎷🚙🚁🔦🔮

Twitter should hire me, I got all the ideas n'shit

Holy shit twitter should hire me for that incredible re-name. Bird feeder instead of timeline. Holy shit.

Twitter should hire me as consultant. First act... Favoriting is either banned or costs a nickel each and goes on timeline

Twitter should hire @BillSimmons.

Twitter Should Hire Curt Schilling as Sheriff (Seriously): Dear Dick Costolo, your troll-killing champion has arrived

Twitter should hire ppl to filter and temporarily restrict accounts of those who get into their feelings 😄

Twitter should hire me to reply "Nope. That's wrong" after those "facts" accounts tweet.

Twitter should hire me to personally punch every fake account owner

Twitter should hire Andy. He lives for it

Twitter should hire anyone with 40,000 tweets or more.

Twitter should hire a reporter for all major sports press conferences like this. Monitor feeds and ask tough questions with zero blowback.

Twitter should hire sticker artists & sell emoji packs. I’m so tired or writing out 140 characters.

Reason #582 Why Twitter should make me their new CEO: I bring big new ideas like: Expand to 141 characters.

Instead is a single interim CEO, Twitter should do rotating interim CEOs for a day.

I think twitter should hire people just to tweet & give them like $5.00 a tweet. People like me, they should hire me

Twitter should hire me this is such a good idea

Twitter should hire me to be a therapist for everyone who tweets their problems

It's a long list! Jack Dorsey is going to have a busy week.

  1. 1. Which Twitter Should Are You?

    Pick the Twitter feature you care about the most

    The Tweet
    The Fav
    The RT
    The Mute
    The Sponsored Tweet
    The Autoplay Video

Twitter Should ...

You got: Hey @jack! Twitter should build a shrine to celebrate the best tweets, stat
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You got: Hey @jack! Twitter should throw a small party every time I get a Fav
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You got: Hey @jack! Twitter needs to kill the Fav, ASAP. Retweets FTW
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You got: Hey @Jack! Twitter should automatically mute annoying people in my feed
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You got: Hey @Jack! Twitter should make every tweet sponsored. I love #brands
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You got: Hey @Jack! Twitter should add autoplay video to every tweet. Autoplay
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Alex Kantrowitz is a senior technology reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in San Francisco. He reports on social and communications.

Contact Alex Kantrowitz at alex.kantrowitz@buzzfeed.com.

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