1. I do not want to attend this party.
2. I would rather stay inside.
3. I should probably go to this party.
4. I spent all of last weekend sitting in bed marathoning period dramas and my friends probably think I'm dead.
5. I should start getting ready.
6. Oh god I feel sick.
7. I shouldn't go because what if I'm sick? I don't want to make everyone sick with this...whatever I've got!
8. Oh, that's just nerves.
9. My stomach is literally dropping at the thought of being around people.
10. This would be funny if it weren't so sad.
11. Here I am, on my way to this party now.
12. Look at all of the effort I am putting in to be social, everyone better appreciate it.
13. How many people am I actually going to know at this party?
14. -checks Facebook event to see how many "friends" are attending.-
15. THREE? AND ONE IS THE HOST?
16. OH NO.
17. I'm not going to have anyone to talk to! I'm going to have to talk to strangers. This is terrible.
18. I should come up with a fake name and a fake accent so nobody there will know who I am once I leave.
19. That would be very cool and mysterious and also wouldn't work because the host clearly knows who I am.
20. Onto Plan B. Or should I say...Plan D.
21. Not that kind of D. I mean D as in Drunk. I'm going to get very drunk.
22. I should have gotten here earlier, there are too many strangers and everything is loud.
23. How do I find the host? I need her to see that I'm here so when people ask her about it later she'll be able to say I came to her party. That's important.
24. Hi host! Let's talk, this is a very nice party you are throwing.
25. No please let's keep talking about stuff. Something. Anything.
26. I don't know anyone else here and it you leave I'm essentially toast.
27. Oh god she's moving to talk to someone else. I'm alone.
28. Don't cry. Don't cry don't cry don't cry there is nothing to cry about.
29. Give me a drink.
30. I will drink this in the bathroom and emerge when I'm ready.
31. I'm not ready but I'm emerging anyway.
32. I'm weaving through the people in this room like a thread through a needle.
33. Do people weave threads through needles? I don't know anything anymore.
34. I see another friend of mine!
35. ...alas, they're talking to someone else.
36. I can't interrupt, that would be rude.
37. I can be anything I want to be in this world except rude.
38. OK there's a lull in their conversation GO GO GO GO!
39. Hi how are you how is your job how is your cat please talk to me do you want another drink because I do.
40. This conversation is going so well!
41. As long as I ask other people questions I don't have to talk about myself at all.
42. Look at me, quelling my existential dread with polite party conversation!
43. I'm a goddamn social butterfly.
44. I can be a socialite if I want to be.
45. My obituary will refer to me as a "society woman" and everyone will remember how much I sparkled in social settings.
46. Oh, my friend is leaving the party. Without them I am truly alone.
47. How long have I been here? Two hours?
48. Twenty minutes. I've been here for twenty minutes.
49. Well if you're leaving I may as well, uh, walk you out.
50. Don't forget to wave goodbye to the host and make a frowny face as you dip out early.
51. I know, I'm the worst, boo hoo, see you at the next one!
52. I literally could not be happier about going home right now.
53. Where was I in that period drama marathon again? Oh yes, The Buccaneers....