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How Halloween Are You?

People really need to get on your level, Halloween-wise.

Posted on
  1. Check off all the things you've done.

    Check
    You've dressed up in a costume.
    Check
    You've never re-used a costume.
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    You've worn more than one costume per year (for separate parties/events).
    Check
    You've worn more than five different costumes per year.
    Check
    You've been to a Halloween party.
    Check
    You've thrown a Halloween party.
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    You regularly attend at least three Halloween parties per year.
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    Your friends count on you to host "the" Halloween party every year.
    Check
    You go all-out decorating your house or apartment.
    Check
    You genuinely try to scare the trick-or-treaters.
    Check
    You've gone trick-or-treating.
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    You had a trick-or-treating game plan/strategy every year.
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    That strategy involved hitting up all of the houses who give out the king size candy bars.
    Check
    You still sort of like the full-size candy bar neighbors better.
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    Because you remember who they are.
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    You actually like giving candy to the trick-or-treaters.
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    You try to brush up on your little kid pop culture before Halloween so you understand all the costumes.
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    But if you see another Elsa from "Frozen" you're going to scream.
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    Seriously, just let it go.
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    Shit.
    Check
    You've carved a pumpkin.
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    You've participated in a pumpkin carving contest.
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    You have DOMINATED a pumpkin carving contest.
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    You've printed out a pumpkin stencil with which to carve your pumpkin.
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    You're already planning out your kids' costumes for the first few years of their lives.
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    And if you already have kids you derive great joy from seeing their (your) costume dreams realized.
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    You've made those hand-shaped ice cubes in rubber gloves.
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    And floated them in red punch.
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    Because blooooood.
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    You love scary stories.
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    And horror movies.
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    In fact, you have a canon of Halloween movies that you HAVE to watch every year or else it's not Halloween.
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    You also have a Halloween playlist.
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    That includes "The Monster Mash."
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    And "Thriller."
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    You know the Thriller dance.
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    And have performed it on a group while dressed as a zombie.
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    You were Michael.
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    Because when you do Halloween you really DO Halloween.
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    And when November 1st comes back around, you start counting the days down until next year.
 
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