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21 Things Multiracial People Are Tired Of Hearing On First Dates

Please stop talking about genetics.

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1. "So which parent is white?"

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Don't assume all mixed people are half-white. And if we are, don't fucking ask that.

2. "Which parent is what?"

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And I want you to back up and think about how it sounds to ask a near-stranger what COLOR THEIR PARENTS ARE.

3. "Mixed people are so attractive."

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This is usually followed up by some bullshit science talk about "normalizing the features of both races" and to that we say: nope.

4. "Being mixed is kind of rare, you know?"

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Math is hard for you.

5. "But you know I mean it's exotic."

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DO NOT PASS GO DO NOT COLLECT $200 JUST LEAVE.

6. "Your hair is so different."

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Everyone's hair is different.

7. "Can I touch your hair?"

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Shhhhhhh. No.

8. "Can you speak two languages?"

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Yes, I'm fluent in English and silence.

9. "I wouldn't have been able to tell you're mixed at all."

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Well I obviously couldn't tell you were a bonehead but here we are.

10. "Do you identify more with one side?"

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Do you discuss identity politics with everyone the first time you hang out or...

11. "If you had to pick one, which one would it be?"

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What would happen if I removed exactly half of your DNA? I'm really curious.

12. "So do you eat a lot of fusion food?"

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-leans in and whispers in your ear-

"That's not real."

13. "I'm 1/23rd Cherokee."

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Nobody cares.

Also no, you're not.

14. "Your kids are going to be so pretty."

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You would not say this to a monoracial person. Or any person. Why me?

15. Are you immune to certain diseases?

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(I shit you not, I have been asked this twice.)

16. "I knew this mixed person and they had like green eyes and..."

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I once knew this person I went on a date with and we never, ever saw each other again.

17. "Was it confusing for you?"

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Does my literal existence confuse you?

18. "I want my kids to be mixed."

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I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor.

19. "Your skin tone is so interesting."

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Please just ask me what my hobbies are or something. I don't want to do this right now.

20. "So what are you?"

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I am several ducks stacked on top of each other, hidden underneath a trench coat.

21. "I wish I were mixed."

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Bye for real this time.

Bye.

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