Ghosted on a potential romantic partner.Cheated on a real-life romantic partner.Tipped a server sparingly because you didn't like the cut of their jib.Waited more than two days to text someone back.Lied to your partner to get out of a date.Littered.Played with your phone while someone was trying to show you their favorite movie.Finished the punch line of someone else's joke because you're heard it before.Chewed with your mouth open in the absence of a deviated septum or other breathing issue?Heard someone talking about their favorite show and butted in to let them know that you don't like it very much.Stopped in the middle of a busy street or staircase to have a conversation with someone.Held hands with someone while walking on a narrow sidewalk, forcing everyone behind you to form a conga line of shame and annoyance.Split a bill with friends but only put in enough to cover your meal at a flat rate, ignoring tax and tip.Reclined your seat back on a bus or plane ride that was less than an hour long.Reached into your mouth to pick your teeth in polite company.Made plans with someone you had absolutely no intention of keeping.Put your bag on a seat when other people still want to sit down.Honked your car horn at someone who was clearly pausing at a stop sign, like they're supposed to.Crossed the road in front of a car when you don't have right of way, probably scaring the driver.Browsed Tinder while your date was in the bathroom.Screenshotted a Snapchat when you know the person wouldn't want you to.Tagged bad pictures of your friends and been like "haha blackmail."Not been aware that #blackmail is a crime.Seriously, you can get put away so fast for shit like that, use your head.Used the phrase "let me just play Devil's Advocate" for a conversation about a marginalized community to which you do not belong.Called yourself a Garbage Person.Called yourself a Trash Lad.Called yourself a Dumpster Child.Called your group of friends "The Garbage Crew."Been a literal heap of discarded food, broken items, paper products, and general refuse.
How Garbage Are You?
You're not that Garbage tbh.
You're Garbage, but only in the sense that ~everyone~ is a little bit Garbage. You try to keep your inner trash heap at bay and succeed intermittently.
You're pretty Garbage. You have probably tweeted "I am a Garbage Person" before and meant it. The thing is, you're probably aware that you're Garbage which mitigates the Garbageness of your being. Keep on being trash, dumpster buddy.
You are GARBAGE. Peak Garbage. The platonic form of Garbage. You own it, you are it. Hey look everybody, Captain Garbage has arrived! Wow.