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How Garbage Are You?

Trash people of the world, unite!

Posted on
  1. PN_Photo / Getty Images / Via Thinkstock

    Check off all of the things you have done at LEAST once.

    Check
    Ghosted on a potential romantic partner.
    Check
    Cheated on a real-life romantic partner.
    Check
    Tipped a server sparingly because you didn't like the cut of their jib.
    Check
    Waited more than two days to text someone back.
    Check
    Lied to your partner to get out of a date.
    Check
    Littered.
    Check
    Played with your phone while someone was trying to show you their favorite movie.
    Check
    Finished the punch line of someone else's joke because you're heard it before.
    Check
    Chewed with your mouth open in the absence of a deviated septum or other breathing issue?
    Check
    Heard someone talking about their favorite show and butted in to let them know that you don't like it very much.
    Check
    Stopped in the middle of a busy street or staircase to have a conversation with someone.
    Check
    Held hands with someone while walking on a narrow sidewalk, forcing everyone behind you to form a conga line of shame and annoyance.
    Check
    Split a bill with friends but only put in enough to cover your meal at a flat rate, ignoring tax and tip.
    Check
    Reclined your seat back on a bus or plane ride that was less than an hour long.
    Check
    Reached into your mouth to pick your teeth in polite company.
    Check
    Made plans with someone you had absolutely no intention of keeping.
    Check
    Put your bag on a seat when other people still want to sit down.
    Check
    Honked your car horn at someone who was clearly pausing at a stop sign, like they're supposed to.
    Check
    Crossed the road in front of a car when you don't have right of way, probably scaring the driver.
    Check
    Browsed Tinder while your date was in the bathroom.
    Check
    Screenshotted a Snapchat when you know the person wouldn't want you to.
    Check
    Tagged bad pictures of your friends and been like "haha blackmail."
    Check
    Not been aware that #blackmail is a crime.
    Check
    Seriously, you can get put away so fast for shit like that, use your head.
    Check
    Used the phrase "let me just play Devil's Advocate" for a conversation about a marginalized community to which you do not belong.
    Check
    Called yourself a Garbage Person.
    Check
    Called yourself a Trash Lad.
    Check
    Called yourself a Dumpster Child.
    Check
    Called your group of friends "The Garbage Crew."
    Check
    Been a literal heap of discarded food, broken items, paper products, and general refuse.

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