1.When you're alone you pretend to have elaborate conversations with your crush, your enemy, your co-workers...
2.And if the conversation is going really well you go back and repeat parts of it that sound extra cool.
3.You spend a lot of time coming up with amazing comebacks to win arguments you haven't even had yet.
4.When you're lying on the couch you just kind of cram your hand in your pants for no reason — it just feels warm.
5.Sometimes you think something really messed up and have this irrational moment of fear that someone might have read your mind.
6.So you internally scream "SHOW YOURSELF, MIND-READER" and see if anyone around you flinches.
7.You've outlined exactly how you're going to survive in the event of a zombie apocalypse and think a lot about who you want with you as you brave the terrifying global wilderness.
8.Whenever you listen to music you pretend you're in a music video and cast everyone around you as backup dancers.
9.Or you think about performing particularly sexy songs to a packed audience, one of the members of which is your crush who just knows it's for them.
10.You get caught staring at someone and instead of looking away you just keep staring and hope they think you're looking at something over their shoulder.
11.You can't remember the last time you were able to read the "handshake, fist bump, or hug" thing correctly, so you just collide into/swat people ineffectively.
12.You still remember the words to songs you made up when you were a kid and sing them to yourself to this day.
13.When using automatic doors you pretend to have magical powers and wave that shit open like the Supreme.
14.Sometimes when you cook you add some spices that aren't in the recipe and feel like you're on Top Chef.
15.Then when you actually eat the food you become one of the judges and are like, "Yes, hints of cumin, how clever you were to add that!"
16.Whenever you make an appointment over the phone you have to psych yourself up first, just to get in the right mindset.
17.You pronounce hard-to-spell words differently in your head, like de-FINITE-ly or Feb-RU-ary.
18.You stare at your face in the mirror for a weirdly long amount of time, wondering what you really look like to other people.
19.You write real-life fan fiction in your head, where your life is really cool and you have a lot of money and you go to Hogwarts or whatever, then feel sad when you snap out of it and realize that it's not gonna happen.
20.You perfectly rap along to the first four lines of a verse but when it hits the part you don't know as well you just start muttering and nodding your head to the beat, hoping no one notices.
21.You hate it when someone's phone vibrates on TV because you always think it's for you but it's not.
22.You rehearse your coffee order in your head a million times to make sure you say it right when you get up to the counter.
23.And you fully acknowledge how weird all of this stuff is but embrace your fabulous weirdness anyway.