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    Jul 31, 2015

    Dear TV: Stop Expecting Us To Believe Hot People Aren't Hot

    Our sense of disbelief can only suspend so much.

    Look at the people in this picture. A potential caption for it is "four exceptionally attractive young adults."

    FOX / Via

    Unfortunately, these people are on TV, which means that this photo would more likely be captioned "three exceptionally attractive young adults and one BULLSHIT MONSTER MASH OF A BOY FACE."

    FOX / Via

    That's because Mr. Boo-Face from the picture plays a NERD. A comic-reading, Killers-listening NERD. And in TV world, that means everyone must be repulsed by his presence.

    FOX / Via

    He looks like what would happen if every straight teenage girl on planet Earth made an itemized list of their favorite boy traits and sent it to scientists, who proceeded to make a spreadsheet and work everything out into a equation for the perfect boyfriend.

    But noooo he likes goddamn cult movies so on The OC, he's essentially Shrek.

    This happens all the time on TV! They need a character to be distinctly unappealing for the plot, and yet during casting they'll just say "fuck it" and cast actors who resemble actual angels.

    FOX / Via

    On Gotham, this guy's luck with women is so shitty it drives him to legit murder a cop, but he looks so fucking good I want to petition the U.S. government to carve his beautiful face into the side of a protected mountain wildlife reserve????

    1. I mean, let's play a game real quick. Which one of these actors is supposed to be the ~ugly guy~?


      It's the guy on the right.

      His name is Matthew Gray Gubler and he used to model for Marc fucking Jacobs.

    And don't think this only happens to men. Remember when a show's entire premise was that no man in his right mind would EVER want to unprofessionally fraternize with this woman:

    ABC / Via

    Your Orthodontia Causes Sexual Starvation Forever: The Ugly Betty Story

    Or how about Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones? – just as a reminder, this woman is supposed to be legendarily hideous.

    HBO / Via

    "No thanks," said no one ever.

    I, for one, am tired of suspending my disbelief far enough to accommodate the concept that Season 1 Dan from Gossip Girl wouldn't have KILLED IT among 16-year-old girls in his day.

    The CW / Via

    (Seriously in what world does a talented, funny writer with cheekbones so sharp they could cut gouda spend the first two years of his high school career in complete anonymity, so much so that he has to CREATE A FEMALE ALTER EGO to stir up interest in himself and in the process, destroy many lives and also maybe kill someone?)

    Seriously TV people, who are you fucking when THESE PEOPLE are the ones you're oh-so-willing to cross off as objectively gross?

    Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty Images
    Stuart C. Wilson / Getty Images
    Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

    So please, TV people: Either start casting real-life uggos or stop writing plots that hedge on the alleged undesirability of people who are in the 99th percentile of attractiveness.

    ABC / Via

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