15 “Gossip Girl” Book Plotlines That Never Made It To The Show

The books were even crazier than the show. By a lot.

1. Chuck has a pet monkey named Sweetie. He literally never shuts up about his monkey.

The CW / Via fanforum.com

On the show, Chuck has a dog named Monkey but it wasn’t the same…

2. Serena visited Yale and was serenaded by the Whiffenpoofs, who improvised an original song about her and followed her around campus.

The CW / Via mtv.com

Imagine how creepy a bunch of college seniors sing-stalking a 17 year old would be in real life…

3. Serena walked in a fashion show in a cheap custom T-shirt that said “I Love Aaron” in tribute to her relationship with Blair’s stepbrother.

The CW / Via giphy.com

The T-shirt became a fashion phenomenon.

4. Serena also had an unnamed body part, strongly suggested to be her nipple, photographed and blown up as a piece of modern art that appeared on posters and ads all over the city.

The CW / Via weheartit.com

5. Oh, and she also had a perfume named after her and the promotional photo they used was of her crying a single tear after Aaron broke up with her.

The CW / Via giphy.com

Yeah, the breakup was about that dumb T-shirt.

6. Jenny’s main hangup was that she had incredibly large breasts and could never find the right bra.

7. Blair messes up her final Yale interview by kissing her interviewer, then going on a date with him.

The CW / Via tumblr.com

8. Then Blair finds out that she goes to school with the interviewer’s daughter, Elise.

9. Dan gets a job shelving books at The Strand Bookstore and ends up dating his coworker Greg for a hot minute.

The CW / Via bustle.com

10. When Dan breaks up with him, Greg gets together with Chuck instead.

The CW / Via gossipgirl.com

11. Blair’s mom and Cyrus Rose have a baby daughter together, and they let Blair name her. She names her half-sister Yael. As in Yale. The university.

The CW / Via zimbio.com

12. Dan becomes a semi-famous poet, and a famous band called The Raves asks him to be their frontman. He just yells his poems over the music.

The CW / Via fanpop.com

13. Vanessa is completely bald for the duration of the series.

The CW / Via wifflegif.com

Oh, and she and Blair live together for half a book when Blair needs to ~get away~ from the Upper East Side. LOL.

14. Blair also has a pre-quarter-life crisis when she doesn’t get into any of the schools she wanted to, so she cuts off her hair into a pixie cut.

The CW / Via degrassi.wikia.com

Can you even imagine Blair without her mane of secrets?

15. And the Nate-Blair-Serena love triangle lasts for the entire book series. In his last few pages, Nate decides to avoid choosing either of them and sails off in a boat with an old man named Chips.

The CW / Via bustle.com

This happened in the book. It happened. Chips the sailor. Chips.

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