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Are You Actually Ready For College?

Let's see how you stack up, class of 2019.

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  1. Damianno/Thinkstock

    Check of everything you can HONESTLY answer with "yes."

    Check
    I can do my own laundry.
    Check
    I know how to use fabric softener.
    Check
    I can call and make my own appointments.
    Check
    I know how to boil water.
    Check
    I know how to make pasta.
    Check
    I can make small talk with people at parties.
    Check
    I have a clear understanding of my alcohol tolerance.
    Check
    I know how to change my sheets.
    Check
    *IMPORTANT* I have a fun fact ready for any and all orientation icebreaker circles.
    Check
    I know HOW to study, not just that I need to.
    Check
    I know exactly which of my high school classmates, if any, are coming to my college and have a plan, for better or worse.
    Check
    I have a completely new name and persona ready to go if I totally flub orientation week.
    Check
    I know how to register for a class.
    Check
    I know how to make a pancake.
    Check
    I know more then three different kinds of beer, one of which does not suck.
    Check
    I have the emotional maturity not to cry in public.
    Check
    I am ready to let go of my emotional maturity so I don't get too upset the first time I cry in public.
    Check
    I have a good idea of how often my parents want me to call home.
    Check
    I have a large supply of candy to keep in my dorm room to make sure people want to be friends with me.
    Check
    I have dorm decorations that are neither Bob Marley nor Pink Floyd prints.
    Check
    I have at least one package of holiday lights to string around my room.
    Check
    I have brushed up on my Super Smash Bros. skills, just in case.
    Check
    I know how to read a book.
    Check
    I have highlighters.
    Check
    Pencils: I know what to do with them.
    Check
    I have bought or plan to buy at least one (1) package of condoms, if not for me than for my roommate who will be grateful.
    Check
    I have a playlist of songs to play to get me pumped for the first day of classes, exams, going out, and so forth.
    Check
    I am aware of and regularly practice enthusiastic consent for all activities both romantic and sexual.
    Check
    I've resigned myself to a life of debt following college and am A-OK with these consequences.
    Check
    Change does not frighten me.
    Check
    Change frightens me, but I can handle it.
 
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