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21 Things All Brits Did At School That Would Get You Fired Now

Pro tip: Don't play kiss chase in the office.

1. Deliberately causing gas leaks in the workplace.

TIL: Gas leaks are not especially good "bants" and are largely frowned upon in a professional environment.

2. Pulling down your co-workers’ trousers.

An extra-sackable offence if the pants come with them.

3. Firing elastic bands in your colleagues’ eyes.

This one is a great idea if you not only want to get fired, but also want to have no friends!

4. Doing all your work using Wordart.

"Yes I know everything I've written is absolute garbage, I'm really hungover right now, but look how SNAZZY it looks."

5. Or even better, wingdings.

This piece of work right here actually solves the problem of perpetual motion. But no one will ever know it.

6. Chasing your co-workers around the office and trying to kiss them.

The more you think about kiss chase, the creepier it gets.

7. Setting fire to all your colleagues' stuff.

Twitter: @IL0VEthe80s

In particular, ties, hair and faces.

8. Spending the day drawing squares with your desk neighbour instead of doing any actual work.

Twitter: @jennieburling

This was basically the primary school version of Candy Crush.

9. This awful game.

Fuck. Off.

10. Trying to blind your boss.


Pro tip: Pranking your boss is a much worse idea than pranking your teacher used to be.

11. Needlessly slapping your co-workers in the dick.

20th Century Fox

It wasn't even funny then, let's be honest.

12. Handing in all your work on a floppy disk.


Because your boss will think you're taking the piss. To their kids, all this is is a save icon.

13. Sticking wet toilet paper to the ceilings in the hope that it’ll later fall on someone’s head.

Twitter: @wilkstropics

You might get fired, but at least you'll be the coolest kid in the office.

14. Stabbing co-workers in the leg with your compass.

Sorry, "pair of compasses".

15. Smacking the person next to you whenever you see a yellow car.

Bwark Productions

And again if it's a Mini. And again if it's a convertible. And again because they're a twat.

16. Flicking ink all over your colleagues’ backs when they aren’t looking.

No one cares if you own a Parker Pen any more.

17. Getting in a fight on the bus to work so that you can sit at the back.

18. Hiding the fact that your Powerpoint presentations say absolutely nothing with loads of crap animations.

Deedle-Dee Productions

Death to Powerpoint.

19. Testing this theory on your co-workers' legs.

Turns out, they were lying.

20. Going out with and then dumping everyone in the office several times a month.

They probably won't get over it as quickly as everyone did in Year Five.

21. Drawing dicks all over your colleagues' work.

The Apatow Company / Via


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