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We Know What You're Going To Be Reincarnated As

Will your next life be your best life?

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    Prince Harry
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    Prince Harry
    Enrique Iglesias
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    Enrique Iglesias
    George Clooney
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    George Clooney
    Chris Pratt
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    Chris Pratt
    Javier Bardem
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    Javier Bardem
    Donald Trump
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    Donald Trump
    Chris Hemsworth
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    Chris Hemsworth
    Leonardo DiCaprio
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    Leonardo DiCaprio
    Tom Hiddleston
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    Tom Hiddleston
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    Lindsay Lohan
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    Lindsay Lohan
    Beyoncé
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    Beyoncé
    Nicki Minaj
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    Nicki Minaj
    Jennifer Lawrence
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    Jennifer Lawrence
    Kate Middleton
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    Kate Middleton
    Penelope Cruz
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    Penelope Cruz
    Anna Kendrick
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    Anna Kendrick
    Taylor Swift
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    Taylor Swift
    Iggy Azalea
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    Iggy Azalea
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We Know What You're Going To Be Reincarnated As

You got: An office deskchair

OK so this might not seem very glamorous, but fear not, you'll be one of those cool ones with the wheels and the real leather. People will spin round on you on their lunch breaks and you will give them momentary joy. But also crippling back problems in later life. You win some you lose some.

An office deskchair
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You got: A lonely olive tree

You will return as a single, isolated olive tree, ripe with beautiful, juicy olives that people will make into the oil that will reinvigorate the Greek economy. Your leaves will soak up the scorching sun and flutter lightly in the gentle summer breeze, your only worry the occasional stray dog who will toddle up and piss all over your trunk.

A lonely olive tree
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You got: A pair of Donald Trump's trousers

Oh no. We're sorry. It wasn't supposed to be this way, but it looks like you'll be spending your next life pressed tightly against Donald Trump's buttocks. Someone had to do it, but it's a shame it had to be you. Oh well, maybe if you do a good job you'll get to come back as a scarf or a hat.

A pair of Donald Trump's trousers
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You got: A badass golden eagle

You're going to come back as a majestic golden eagle, soaring through the skies over the Scottish mountains, occasionally swooping down to startle overweight hikers and make them stumble into rivers. You and your eagle bros will be top of the food chain, and you'll take shit from no one. Life will be good.

A badass golden eagle
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You got: An old lady's pet cat

You're gonna be so loved. So so loved. OK so there might be times when all you want to do is chill out and sleep in your favourite spot and your owner won't stop picking you up and cuddling you, but hey, she feeds you and cleans up your shit, so you can't really complain.

An old lady's pet cat
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You got: A sexy rhinoceros

Look at you, with your thick, leathery skin, flappy little teddy bear ears and scary-ass phallic horn on your head – you are one sexy rhinoceros. You're not one to let your temper get the better of you and go on mad rampages, you'd much rather lay about in the mud looking hot as hell, and doesn't everyone else rhi-know it.

A sexy rhinoceros
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You got: A royal baby

Well aren't you just the luckiest person alive, because you're coming back as a royal bloody baby. You'll be richer than you ever have been in this life by the time you're three months old, people will adore you for your cute little cheeks and one day you might even get to rule Great Britain, when you'll spend money with your own goddamn face on it.

A royal baby
Chris Jackson / Getty
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You got: A horny giraffe

A sex-crazed giraffe – this is your future. This is the body you will inherit when you die. You will be insatiable – a minute won't go by where you aren't thinking about boning your giraffe mates, maybe one at a time, maybe all together. You'll be up for anything, because you'll be one horny giraffe.

A horny giraffe
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You got: A famous dancing dog

You won't just be a dog, you'll be a famous dancing dog. Children will scream with joy when you appear on their holographic TV screens, and their parents will scream with them. You will waltz, salsa and tango your way into the hearts of millions, before dying peacefully at the age of 15 and being honoured with a state funeral.

A famous dancing dog
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