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We Can Predict Your A-Level Results

Prepare to freak out.

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  1. 1.

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  2. 2.

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  3. 3.

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    About three months before the first exam
    In plenty of time, I'm pretty smart anyway
    I got down to it properly when study leave started
    I tried for months, but it only started working a few weeks before
    I did a bit the night before each exam
    Revision? LOL
  4. 4.

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    A doctor
    A doctor
    A dinosaur
    A dinosaur
    A writer
    A writer
    A chef
    A chef
    Constantly drunk
    Constantly drunk
    A stay-at-home parent
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    A stay-at-home parent
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  5. 5.

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    Monica
    Monica
    Phoebe
    Phoebe
    Joey
    Joey
    Ross
    Ross
    Chandler
    Chandler
    Rachel
    Warner Bros
    Rachel
    Warner Bros
  6. 6.

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  7. 7.

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  8. 8.

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    Drinking. A shitload of drinking
    Work first, then piss around on the internet
    Wasting literally all my time online
    Work and some kind of sport or activity
    Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
    Hanging with friends as much as possible
  9. 9.

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    The Apatow Company
    "Superbad"
    The Apatow Company
    Zide/Perry Productions
    "American Pie"
    Zide/Perry Productions
    Mandate Pictures
    "Juno"
    Mandate Pictures
    Temple Hill Entertainment
    "Twilight"
    Temple Hill Entertainment
    SNL Studios
    "Mean Girls"
    SNL Studios
    Olive Bridge Entertainment
    "Easy A"
    Olive Bridge Entertainment
  10. 10.

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    Paintstripper vodka
    tumblr.com
    Paintstripper vodka
    The blood of your enemies
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    The blood of your enemies
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    The tears of your failure
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    The tears of your failure
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We Can Predict Your A-Level Results

You got: Two Bs and a C

This is good, because either it's better than you expected and you're really happy, or you fucked up but get to make jokes about how your letters are the same as the British Broadcasting Corporation, which, let's be honest, is all you ever wanted from your future anyway.

Two Bs and a C
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You got: An A, a B and a C

Well aren't you just a very neat and tidy person – ABC – that's worth a little chuckle at least. They're pretty damn good grades too, so you're probably not going to be a massive failure at life! Congrats!

An A, a B and a C
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You got: An A and two Bs

Well there you go, you may as well just email your first-choice uni now and tell them you've got in. Hell, drive up there and start moving into your new dorms. Unless you applied to Oxbridge; then I guess you're fucked.

An A and two Bs
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You got: Two Ds and a U

Ummmmmmm, if you rearrange the letters you can spell DUD, so that's kinda funny, huh? Maybe don't say this to your mum, though, she might not see it that way.

Two Ds and a U
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You got: Straight As

Oh fuck off, you clever bastard. Just fuck off, OK? We know you're better than us, just stop rubbing all our faces in it, yeah?

Straight As
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You got: You failed every single exam :(

Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Your mum is gonna be soooo pissed... RIP your hopes and dreams, hello your new life living in a skip.

You failed every single exam :(
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