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27 Pictures That Prove America Has Ruined Literally Everything

You guys need to chill.

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1. Mobile phones:

I can't see this going wrong at all. Nope. Not even one little bit.
Twitter: @Jpegydotcom

I can't see this going wrong at all. Nope. Not even one little bit.

2. Cheese:

SCIENCE HAS A LOT TO ANSWER FOR.
Twitter: @BryterMoon

SCIENCE HAS A LOT TO ANSWER FOR.

3. Bowel movements:

FIVE DOLLARS for a single poo?!!! FIVE DOLLARS FOR A PISS!!!
instagram.com

FIVE DOLLARS for a single poo?!!! FIVE DOLLARS FOR A PISS!!!

4. Clothes:

Dressing in regular clothing is just SO un-American.
imgur.com

Dressing in regular clothing is just SO un-American.

5. Alphabetical order:

"Fuck the rest of the world, we're the most important and we're going first." – America.
Twitter: @King_Wylie

"Fuck the rest of the world, we're the most important and we're going first." – America.

6. Ice cream:

Made with real bald eagle!
knowyourmeme.com

Made with real bald eagle!

7. Nipples:

Why name them this?
Twitter: @AR1961

Why name them this?

8. Faces:

HOW CAN ONE MAN HAVE ALL THE EXPRESSIONS ALL AT ONCE?
Twitter: @krystalvivian

HOW CAN ONE MAN HAVE ALL THE EXPRESSIONS ALL AT ONCE?

9. Christmas:

What's Santa doing when he's not delivering presents? Dressing up as G.I. Joe and shooting a shit-ton of ducks, apparently.
Twitter: @wallaceme

What's Santa doing when he's not delivering presents? Dressing up as G.I. Joe and shooting a shit-ton of ducks, apparently.

10. Butter:

Why? No. No. Why?
Twitter: @Pimacountyfair

Why? No. No. Why?

11. Irony:

Too much.
Twitter: @Nokomaq

Too much.

12. Both doughnuts AND burgers:

They're even GLAZED ffs.
imgur.com

They're even GLAZED ffs.

13. Memes:

Daaaamn America, back at it again with the taking a great joke and turning it into rampant capitalism.
Twitter: @Ben_Wagner42

Daaaamn America, back at it again with the taking a great joke and turning it into rampant capitalism.

14. Diamonds:

This just doesn't make any sense.
instagram.com

This just doesn't make any sense.

15. Politics:

This one isn't actually funny.
Tom Pennington / Getty Images

This one isn't actually funny.

16. Soda:

"Gosh, I'm parched. I could really do with a lovely, refreshing glass of artificial bacon soda," said literally no one ever.
Twitter: @BillyHutton1

"Gosh, I'm parched. I could really do with a lovely, refreshing glass of artificial bacon soda," said literally no one ever.

17. Housing:

This person wasn't allowed to fly the flag in their front garden, so they did...this.
Twitter: @desimartin123

This person wasn't allowed to fly the flag in their front garden, so they did...this.

18. Dates:

America, getting stuff wrong since 1776!
Twitter: @giolololol

America, getting stuff wrong since 1776!

19. Bacon:

Because cooking in a pan just isn't macho enough.
youtube.com

Because cooking in a pan just isn't macho enough.

20. Pizza:

This isn't how food is supposed to work.
imgur.com

This isn't how food is supposed to work.

21. Money:

God damnit.

22. Health:

Each colour counts as one of your five-a-day!
Twitter: @disfordazzle

Each colour counts as one of your five-a-day!

23. Cars:

No.

24. The concept of size:

No one needs this.
imgur.com

No one needs this.

25. Beer:

"How should we arrange all this beer, Dave?""Leave it with me, I've got a fucking awesome plan..."
Twitter: @douchestin_11

"How should we arrange all this beer, Dave?"

"Leave it with me, I've got a fucking awesome plan..."

26. Tea:

For when your afternoon drink just isn't shooty enough.
Twitter: @reptilepunk

For when your afternoon drink just isn't shooty enough.

27. Just EVERYTHING.

You guys gotta chill.
jalopnik.com

You guys gotta chill.