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    27 Things You'll Remember If You Were A Teenage Boy In The '00s

    Boys are dicks.

    1. Hair gel. Way too much hair gel.

    It's debatable which was worse, the wet-look quiff or the bowl cut you probably had before it.

    2. Thinking the key to getting girls was spraying yourself with disgusting amounts of Lynx Africa.

    Twitter: @pw1986

    Nothing good is ever achieved with Lynx Africa.

    3. Destroying your school shoes by playing football on the field at lunch.

    4. Spending a lot of time like this.

    Facebook: LADbible

    See also: climbing over the school fence after you've ballooned one over, or knocking on your neighbour's door after you've smashed one into their garden.

    5. And this cause of literally hundreds of arguments.

    Getty Images / Michael Blann

    Whatever the decision, it was always unfair.

    6. Trying to stick as much loo roll as possible to the ceiling of the school toilets.

    Twitter: @wilkstropics

    A productive use of anyone's lunch break.

    7. Fucking birthday beats.

    Bwark Productions

    The normal way to celebrate someone's birthday: Buy them presents, a cake and sweet messages on card.

    The teenage boy way: Punch them once for every year of their life, getting repeatedly harder so that they end up with bruises and genuine pain.

    8. Snorting lines of sherbet and thinking you were a total badass.

    At least for a moment. Then you were hit by searing nostril pain and if you were really lucky, a nosebleed.

    9. Spending a lot of time cutting off people’s heads with the katana sword on GTA Vice City.

    And watching the blood spurt satisfyingly out of the top of their necks. Boys are great.

    10. Or hanging out with Olly the Magic Bum on Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater.


    And trying to collect all those goddamn C-O-M-B-O letters.

    11. But best of all, being able to slide tackle the goalie on FIFA.

    EA Sports /

    Remember the days when L2 was the "hack" button? Or how it was ridiculously easy to score overhead kicks in FIFA 2001? Those were the days.

    12. Only having one real life goal: completing your Premier League sticker album.

    If you ever managed it, well you're a hero to us all.

    13. Dressing head to toe in surf brands like Quiksilver, Saltrock and Animal.

    Bonus points for one of those canvas belts or a chain hanging from your jeans.

    14. This absolute truth.

    Getty Images

    Also, the goalie shouting "play on" when he couldn't be bothered to go and get the ball himself.

    15. Kids turning deodorant cans into flamethrowers in the school changing rooms.

    Totally safe.

    16. And also using them to give people horrible freeze burns.

    Again, boys are great.

    17. Which were pretty similar to the injuries you'd get whenever you played football on the astro.

    Twitter: @felloows

    It was all worth it for that heroic goal-saving tackle, though.

    18. People constantly smacking each other in the dick, which meant you had to walk around guarding your balls at all times.

    Being real, this was fun for no one.

    19. Spending ages perfecting your fantasy football team, only to inevitably give up before Christmas.

    But one twat would carry on until the end of the season and then brag mercilessly when they obviously won.

    20. Frosty Jack’s, White Lightning, warm Strongbow and cans of Carling.

    Things you drank purely to get drunk and never realised you would end up revisiting in a big way when you went to uni.

    21. Playing the game where someone had to try and fight their way to the back of the bus.

    22. Calling your mates whipped if they decided to hang out with their girlfriend instead of “the lads”.

    Warner Bros

    And doing the action to go with it.

    23. Smacking your friends as hard as you could whenever you saw a yellow car.

    Bwark Productions

    Even better if it was a convertible yellow Mini.

    24. Fantasising about a “mental” lads’ holiday to Magaluf or Ayia Napa – even if you never actually got to go.

    The teenage boy's rite of passage.

    25. Trying and normally failing to flirt over MSN.

    "haha lol, that was my friend."

    26. Trying and normally failing to flirt IRL.

    Apatow Productions

    We still haven't got it, tbh.

    27. And finally, drawing dicks on everything. Because dicks are hilarious.

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