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This Quiz Will Reveal What Your Family Will Argue About This Christmas

There's always something.

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  1. Thinkstock
    Turkey
    Via honestmum.com
    Turkey
    Roast potatoes
    Via jwrecipes.com
    Roast potatoes
    Pigs in blankets
    Via food.com
    Pigs in blankets
    Via food.com
    Cranberry sauce
    Via savorysweetlife.com
    Cranberry sauce
    Cauliflower cheese
    Via grainchain.com
    Cauliflower cheese
    Yorkshire puddings
    Via atelierdeschefs.co.uk
    Yorkshire puddings
  2. Thinkstock
    An iPhone 6S
    Via Apple
    An iPhone 6S
    Via Apple
    A huge hamper of amazing food
    Via hampergifts.co.uk
    A huge hamper of amazing food
    A free back rub from Tom Hardy
    Via barkpost.com
    A free back rub from Tom Hardy
    100,000 real Twitter followers
    Via Twitter
    100,000 real Twitter followers
    Via Twitter
    <i>Harry Potter and the Cursed Child</i> tickets
    Via london-theatreland.co.uk
    Harry Potter and the Cursed Child tickets
    Decorations for your house
    Via om-furious.net
    Decorations for your house
    A new laptop
    Via walmart.com
    A new laptop
    A shopping spree
    Via bootsadre.gotdns.com
    A shopping spree
    Flying lessons
    Via propertymanager.com
    Flying lessons
  3. Thinkstock
    <i>How the Grinch Stole Christmas</i>
    Via flicks.co.nz
    How the Grinch Stole Christmas
    <i>The Muppet Christmas Carol</i>
    Via myreelpov.wordpress.com
    The Muppet Christmas Carol
    <i>Home Alone</i>
    Via imdb.com
    Home Alone
    Via imdb.com
    <i>A Charlie Brown Christmas</i>
    Via 411posters.com
    A Charlie Brown Christmas
  4. Thinkstock
  5. Thinkstock
    Advent calendar
    Via amazon.co.uk
    Advent calendar
    Chocolate orange
    Via amazon.co.uk
    Chocolate orange
    Kinder Santa
    Via amazon.co.uk
    Kinder Santa
    Christmas tree chocolates
    Via liorz.net
    Christmas tree chocolates
    Via liorz.net
    Lindor truffles
    Via amazon.com
    Lindor truffles
    Celebrations
    Via amazon.com
    Celebrations
  6. Thinkstock
  7. Thinkstock
    Via en.wikipedia.org
    "All I Want for Christmas Is You"
    Via jackson5abc.com
    "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"
    Via en.wikipedia.org
    "The Little Drummer Boy"
    Via iplusbuzz.info
    "Santa Baby"
    Via coverlaydown.com
    "A Fairytale of New York"
    Via en.wikipedia.org
    "Merry Xmas Everybody"
    Via aircanadavacationsestore.com
    "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"
    Via austinchronicle.com
    "Last Christmas"
    Via stereogum.com
    "Do They Know It's Christmas?"

This Quiz Will Reveal What Your Family Will Argue About This Christmas

You got: The ruined turkey

Everything will be going perfectly, the presents will have been opened, you will have got everything you wanted and more, everyone will be delighted with the gifts you bought them, and then everything will turn to utter shit. Half an hour before you're ready to sit down to eat, with everyone already a little tipsy, someone will open the oven to see the turkey is completely raw, because no one ever turned it on. No one will claim responsibility for this job and everyone will think it was someone else's fault. The argument will escalate until your grandma clobbers your dad around the head with a pan of roast potatoes and he ends up in hospital with 13 stitches.

The ruined turkey
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You got: The refugee crisis

You're all sitting round the table enjoying your Christmas dinner – the turkey has been cooked perfectly and the potatoes are that magical combination off fluffy and crisp. The conversation will be light and mostly silly until you accidentally mention Syria. You don't know why or how you did it, it just happened. Your racist uncle seizes the opportunity with both hands. "DON'T LET ANY OF THEM IN," he'll shout, "FUCK 'EM." Three hours later no one's left the table and you're all screaming about Middle Eastern politics as the turkey sadly goes cold and dry.

The refugee crisis
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You got: How technology is ruining the world

Your Christmas will be going swimmingly – it'll be blissful. The meal was delicious, and now you're all stuffed, sitting on the sofa watching Elf. One of the kids will take out their phone and start texting, and your grandpa will tut loudly. He'll start grumbling louder and louder until he erupts into a full-blown rant about how technology is ruining the world and how everything was so much better during the war. Before long, the room will have divided into a massive fight between old and new, and it'll end with you mum calling her father-in-law a "cum-sucking fuck trumpet" and him storming out into the rain.

How technology is ruining the world
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You got: Grandma cheating at Monopoly

For some reason, one of your relatives will suggest a game of Monopoly, and then for some even more unfathomable reason, people will agree to it. You'll get about three quarters of the way through (i.e., you will have been playing for about 18 hours) and your grandma will be cleaning up. As you're slumped over the table wanting to die, you'll catch her sneaking a 500 out of the box and into the pile, and in your delirium, you'll confront her about it. Your dad, who takes Monopoly ~extremely~ seriously, will kick off, and the board will end up ripped to pieces and thrown into the neighbours' garden.

Grandma cheating at Monopoly
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You got: Your dad's drinking

Picture the scene: It's 10:30am on Christmas Day, you're about to open your presents, and your dad is already six beers and three glasses of wine in and is pissed as fuck. He'll decide it's very important that he opens all the presents this year – every single one – and then he'll loudly throw up all over the Christmas tree. This obviously does not go down well with anyone else in the house.

Your dad's drinking
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You got: Gay marriage

No one say anything that might trigger the bigoted uncle – that's the rule at Christmas. Well unfortunately, after a few glasses of wine, you'll forget that rule, and bring up the decision to legalise same-sex marriage as one of the biggest moments of the year during one of those Christmas dinner discussions. Just like that he's off on one, and you won't be able to hold back arguing with him about it. The argument will end with him throwing a shoe at your head, missing, knocking a candle into the Christmas tree, and setting fire to a small corner of the living room.

Gay marriage
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You got: Black Hermione

Your Christmas will be full of food, festivities, and good tidings to all men. The someone will put on a Harry Potter DVD and set your slightly problematic cousin off about how having a black Hermione "is going to completely ruin Harry Potter for her." You won't be able to hold back, and before you know it everyone's involved in a seemingly endless and very angry "debate" that only finishes your mum, who's been sitting quietly and drinking through the whole thing, throws up into a stocking.

Black Hermione
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You got: Why you're still single

It won't take long – 10 minutes after walking in the door that annoying aunt will be asking, "Do you have a special someone yet?" You'll reply maybe a little too aggressively, but it's the first thing she asks you every time you see her, and also pretty much the only thing she asks you ever. She'll take offence and the rest of the family will get involved, before she mutters "I just don't want you to die alone, that's all," and you'll retire to your room and angrily pop bubble wrap until the food's ready.

Why you're still single
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You got: Donald Trump's presidential campaign

"I think Donald Trump actually has a lot of really good views," your grandpa will say. "I really think he's the only man who can make America great again." Cue six hours of shouting, which ends in your mum calling your grandpa a horrible racist, one of the kids getting hit by a flying bauble, and half the family in hospital needing stitches.

Donald Trump's presidential campaign Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
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